The Bodleian First Folio

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Reference: f6v - Histories, p. 74

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The Second Part of the Henry the Fourth, Contaning his Death: and the Coronation of King Henry the Fift.
Actus Primus. Scœna Prima. [Induction] Conventionally in this play, the Induction precedes the first act and scene. From this point in the act onwards, therefore, conventional scene numbering diverges from the First Folio. INDVCTION. Enter Rumour. OPen your Eares: For which of you will stop he vent of hearing, when loud Rumour speakes? from the Orient, to the drooping West (Making the wind my Post‑horse) still vnfold
[5]
The Acts commenced on this Ball of Earth. Vpon my Tongue, continuall Slanders ride, The which, in every Language, I pronounce, Stuffing the Eares of them with false Reports: I speak of Peace, while couert Enmitie
[10]
(Vnder the smile of Safety) wounds the World: And who but Rumour, who but onely I Make fearfull Musters, and prepar'd Defence, Whil'st the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefes, Is thought with childe, by the sterne Tyrant, Warre,
[15]
And no such matter? Rumour, is a Pipe Blown by Surmises, Iealousies, Coniectures; And of so easie, and so plaine a stop, That the blunt Monster, with vncounted heads, The still discordant, wauering Multitude,
[20]
Can play vpon it. But what need I thus My well‑knowne Body to Anatomize Among my houshold? Why is Rumour heere? I run before King Harries victory, Who in a bloodie field by Shrewsburie,
[25]
Hath beaten downe young Hotspurre, and his Troopes, Quenching the flame of bold Rebellion, Euen with the Rebels blood. But what meane I To speak so true at first ? My Office is To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell
[30]
Vnder the Wrath of Noble Hotspurres Sword: And that the King, before the Dowglas Rage Stoop'd his Anointed head, as low as death. This haue I rumour'd through the peasant‑Townes, Between that Royall Field of Shrewsburie,
[35]
And this Worme‑eaten‑Hole of ragged Stone, Where Hotspurres Father, old Northumberland, Lyes craftysicke. The Posts come tyring on, And not a man of them brings other newes Then they haue learn'd of Me. From Rumours Tongues,
[40]
They bring smooth‑Comforts‑false, worse than True‑ wrongs.
Exit.
Scena Secunda. [Act 1, Scene 1]

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Enter Lord Bardolfe, and the Porter. L. Bar. Who keeps the Gate heere hos? Where is the Earl? Por. What shall I say you are? Bar. Tell thou the Earle
[45]
That the Lord Bardolfe doth attend him heere.
Por. His Lordship is walk'd forth into the Orchard. Please it your Honour, knocke but at the Gate, And he himselfe will answer. Enter Northumberland. L. Bar. Here comes the Earle. Nor.
[50]
What news, Lord Bardolfe? Every minute now Should be the Father of some Stratagem; The Times are wilde: Contention (like a Horse Full of high Feeding) madly hath broke loose, And beares downe all before him.
L. Bar.
[55]
Noble Earle, I bring you certaine newes from Shrewsbury.
Nor.

Good, and heauen will.

L. Bar. As good as heart can wish: The King is almost wounded to the death:
[60]
And in the Fortune of my Lord your Sonne, Prince Harrie slaine out‑right: and both the Blunts Kill'd by the hand of Dowglas. Young Prince Iohn, And Westmerland, and Stafford, fled the Field. And Harrie Monmouth's Brawne (the Hulke Sir Iohn)
[65]
Is prisoner to your Sonne. O, such a Day, (So fought, so follow'd, and so fairly wonne) Came not, till now, to dignifie the Times Since Cæsars Fortunes.
Nor. How is this deriu'd?
[70]
Saw you the Field? Came you from Shrewsbury?
L. Bar. I spake with one (my L. Lord ) that came frō from thence, A Gentleman, well bred, and of good name, That freely render'd me these news for true. Nor. Heere comes my Servant Trauers, whom I sent
[75]
On Tuesday last, to listen after Newes.
Enter Trauers L. Bar. My Lord, I ouer‑rod him on the way; And he is furnish'd with no certainties, More then he (haply) may retaile from me. Nor. Now Trauers, what good tidings comes frō from you? Tra.

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Scena Tertia. [Act 1, Scene 1] Enter Falstaffe, and Page. Fal.

Sirra, you giant, what saies the Doct. Doctor to my water?

Pag.

He said sir, the Water it selfe was a good healthy

water: but for the party that ow'd it, he might haue more

diseases then he knew for.

Fal.
[270]

Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at mee: the

braine of this foolish compounded Clay‑man, is not able

to inuent any thing that tends to laughter, more then I

inuent, or is inuented on me. I am not onely witty in my

selfe, but the cause that wit is in other men. I doe heere

[275]

walke before thee, like a Sow, that hath o'rewhelm'd all

her Litter, but one. If the Prince put thee into my Ser­

uice for any other reason, then to set mee off, why then I

haue no iudgement. Thou horson Mandrake, thou art

fitter to be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heeles. I

[280]

was neuer mann'd with an Agot till now: but I will sette

you neyther in Gold, nor Siluer, but in vilde apparell, and

send you backe againe to your Master, for a Iewell. The

Iuuenall (the Prince your Master) whose Chin is not yet

fledg'd, I will sooner have a beard grow in the Palme of

[285]

my hand, then he shall get one on his cheeke: yet he will

not sticke to say, his Face is a Face‑Royall. Heauen may

finish it when he will, it is not a haire amisse yet: he may

keepe it still at a Face‑Royall, for a Barber shall neuer

earne six pence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if

[290]

he had writ man ever since his Father was a Batchellour.

He may keepe his owne Grace, but he is almost out of

mine, I can assure him. What said M. Dombledon, about

the Satten for my short Cloake, and Slops ?

Pag.

He said sir, you should procure him better Assu­

[295]

rance, then Bardolfe: he wold not take his Bond & yours,

he lik'd not the Security.

Fal.

Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton, may his

Tongue be hotter, a horson Achitophel; a Rascally‑yea‑

forsooth‑knaue, to beare a Gentleman in hand, and then

[300]

stand vpon Security? The horson smooth‑pates doe now,

we are nothing but high shoes, and bunches of Keyes at

their girdles: and if a man is through with them in ho­

nest Taking‑vp, then they must stand vpon Securitie: I

had as liefe they would put Rats‑bane in my mouth, as

[305]

offer to stoppe it with Security. I look'd hee should have

sent me two and twenty yards of Satten (as I am true

Knight) and he sends me Security. Well, he may sleep in

Security, for he hath the horne of Abundance: and the

lightnesse of his Wife shines through it, and yet cannot

[310]

he see, though he haue his owne Lanthorne to light him.

Where's Bardolfe?

Pag.

He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship

a horse.

Fal.

I bought him in Paules, and hee'l buy mee a horse

[315]

in Smithfield. If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes, I

were Mann'd, Hors'd, and Wiu'd.

Enter Chiefe Iustice, and Seruant. Pag.

Sir, heere comes the Nobleman that committed

the Prince for striking him, about Bardolfe.

Fal.

Wait close, I will not see him.

Ch. Iust.
[320]

What's he that goes there?

Ser.

Falstaffe, and't please your Lordship.

Iust.

He that was in question for the Robbery?

Ser.

He my Lord, but he hath since done good service

at Shrewsbury: and (as I heare) is now going with some

[325]

Charge, to the Lord Iohn of Lancaster.

Iust.

What to Yorke? Call him backe againe.

Ser.

Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

Fal.

Boy, tell him, I am deafe.

Pag.

You must speake lowder, my Master is deafe.

Iust.
[330]

I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good.

Go plucke him by the Elbow, I must speake with him.

Ser.

Sir Iohn.

Fal.

What? a yong knaue and beg? Is there not wars? Is

there not imployment ? Doth not the K. King lack subiects? Do

[335]

not the Rebels want Soldiers? Though it be a shame to be sig

on any side but one, it is worse shame to begge, then to

be on the worst side, were it worse then the name of Re­

bellion can tell how to make it.

Ser.

You mistake me Sir.

Fal.
[340]

Why sir? Did I say you were an honest man? Set­

ting my Knight‑hood, and my Souldiership aside, I had

lyed in my throat, if I had said so.

Ser.

I pray you (Sir) then set your Knighthood and

your Souldier‑ship aside, and giue mee leaue to tell you,

[345]

you lye in your throat, if you say I am any other then an

honest man.

Fal.

I give thee leaue to tell me so? I lay a‑side that

which growes to me? If thou get'st any leaue of me, hang

me: if thou tak'st leaue, thou wer't better be hang'd: you

[350]

Hunt‑counter, hence: Auant.

Ser.

Sir, my Lord would speake with you.

Iust.

Sir Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.

Fal.

My good Lord: giue your Lordship good time of

the day. I am glad to see your Lordship abroad: I heard

[355]

say your Lordship was sicke. I hope your Lordship goes

abroad by aduise. Your Lordship (though not clean past

your youth) hath yet some smack of age in you: some rel­

lish of the faltnesse of Time, and I most humbly beseech

your Lordship, to haue a reuerend care of your health.

Iust.
[360]

Sir Iohn, I sent you before your Expedition, to

Shrewsburie.

Fal.

If it please your Lordship, I heare his Maiestie is

return'd with some discomfort from Wales.

Iust.

I talke not of his Maiesty: you would not come

[365]

when I sent for you?

Fal.

And I heare moreover, his Highnesse is falne into

this same whorson Apoplexie.

Iust.

Well, heauen mend him. I pray let me speak with

(you.

Fal.
[370]

This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethar­

gie, a sleeping of the blood, a horson Tingling.

Iust.

What tell you me of it? be it as it is.

Fal.

It hath it originall from much greefe; from study

and perturbation of the braine. I have read the cause of

[375]

his effects in Galen. It is a kinde of deafenesse.

Iust.

I thinke you are falne into the disease: For you

heare not what I say to you.

Fal.

Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't please

you) it is the disease of not Listning, the malady of not

[380]

Marking, that I am troubled withall.

Iust.

To punish you by the heeles, would amend the

attention of your eares, & I care not if I be your Physitian

Fal.

I am as poore as Iob, my Lord; but not so Patient:

your Lordship may minister the Potion of imprisonment

[385]

to me, in respect of Pouertie: but how I should bee your

Patient, to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make

some dram of a scruple, or indeede, a scruple it selfe.

Iust.

I sent for you (when there were matters against

you for your life) to come speake with me.

Fal.
[390]

As I was then advised by my learned Councel, in

The lawes of this Land‑service, I did not come.

Iust.

Wel, the truth is (sir Iohn) you liue in great infamy

Fal.

He that buckles him in my belt, cānot cannot liue in lesse.

Iust.

Your Meanes is very slender, and your wast great.

Fal.
[395]

I would it were otherwise: I would my Meanes

were greater, and my waste slenderer.

Iust.

You haue misled the youthfull Prince.

Fal.

The yong Prince hath misled mee. I am the Fel­

low with the great belly, and he my Dogge.

Iust.
[400]

Well, I am loth to gall a new‑heal'd wound: your

daies service at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded ouer

your Nights exploit on Gads‑hill. You may thanke the

vnquiet time, for your quiet o're‑posting that Action.

Fal.

My Lord?

Iust.
[405]

But since all is wel, keep it so: wake not a sleeping

(Wolfe.

Fal.

To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to smell a Fox.

Iu.

What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out

Fal.

A Wassell‑Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did

[410]

say of wax, my growth would approue the truth.

Iust.

There is not a white haire on your face, but shold

haue his effect of grauity.

Fal.

His effect of grauy, grauy, grauy.

Iust

You follow th yong Prince vp and downe, like

[415]

his euill Angell.

Fal.

Not so (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I

hope, he that lookes vpon mee, will take mee without,

weighing: and yet, in some respects I grant, I cannot go:

I cannot tell. Vertue is of so little regard in these Costor­

[420]

mongers that true valor is turn'd Beare‑heard. Pregnan­

cie is made a Tapster, and hath his quicke wit wasted in

giuing Recknings: all the other gifts appertinent to man

(as the malice of this Age shapes them) are not woorth a

Gooseberry. You that are old, consider not the capaci­

[425]

ties of vs that are yong: you measure the heat of our Li­

uers, with the bitternes of your gals: & we that are in the

vaward of our youth, I must confesse, are wagges too.

Iust.

Do you set downe your name in the scrowle of

youth, that are written downe old, with all the Charrac­

[430]

ters of age? Haue you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yel­

low cheeke? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an incresing

belly? Is not your voice broken? your winde short? your

wit single? and euery part about you blasted with Anti­

quity? and wil you cal your selfe yong? Fy, fy, fy sir Iohn.

Fal.
[435]

My Lord, l was borne with a white head, & som­

thing a round belly. For my voice, I haue lost it with hal­

lowing and singing of Anthemes. To approue my youth

farther, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in iudge­

ment and understanding: and he that will caper with mee

[440]

for a thousand Markes, let him lend me the mony, & haue

at him. For the boxe of th'eare that the Prince gaue you,

he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a sensi­

ble Lord. I haue checkt him for it, and the yong Lion re­

pents: Marry not in ashes and sacke‑cloath, but in new

[445]

Silke, and old Sacke,

Iust.

Wel, heauen send the Prince a better companion.

Fal.

Heaven send the Companion a better Prince: I

cannot rid my hands of him.

Iust.

Well, the King hath seuer'd you and Prince Har­ ry , I heare you are going with Lord Iohn of Lancaster, a­

gainst the Archbishop, and the Earle of Northumberland

Fal.

Yes, I thanke your pretty sweet wit for it: but

looke you pray, (all you that kisse my Ladie Peace, at

home) that our Armies ioyn not in a hot day: for if I take

[455]

but two shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweat ex­

traordinarily: if it bee a hot day, if I brandish any thing

but my Bottle, would I might neuer spit white againe:

There is not a daungerous Action can peepe out his head,

but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last euer.

Iust.
[460]
Well, be honest, be honest, and heauen blesse your Expedition.
Fal.

Will your Lordship lend mee a thousand pound,

to furnish me forth?

Iust.

Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient

to beare crosses. Fare you well. Commend mee to my

[465]

Cosin Westmerland.

Fal.

If I do, fillop me with a three‑man‑Beetle. A man

can no more separate Age and Couetousnesse, then he can

part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the

one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the De­

[470]

grees prevent my curses. Boy?

Page.

Sir.

Fal.

What money is in my purse?

Page.

Seuen groats, and two pence.

Fal.

I can get no remedy against this Consumption of

[475]

the purse. Borrowing onely lingers, and lingers it out,

but the disease is incureable. Go beare this letter to my

Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of

Westmerland, and this to old Mistris Vrsula, whome I

haue weekly sworne to marry, since perceiu'd the first

[480]

white haire on my chin. About it: you know where to

finde me. A pox of this Gowt, or a Gowt of this Poxe:

for the one or th'other playes the rogue with my great

toe: It is no matter, if I do halt, I haue the warres for my

colour, and my Pension shall seeme the more reasonable.

[485]

A good wit will make vse of any thing: I will turne dis­

eases to commodity.

Exeunt
 

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<div type="scene" n="2" rend="notPresent">
   <head rend="italic center">Scena Tertia.</head>
   <head type="supplied">[Act 1, Scene 1]</head>
   <stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Falstaffe, and Page.</stage>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="266">Sirra, you giant, what saies the<choice>
            <abbr>Doct.</abbr>
            <expan>Doctor</expan>
         </choice>to my water?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Pag.</speaker>
      <p n="267">He said sir, the Water it selfe was a good healthy
      <lb n="268"/>water: but for the party that ow'd it, he might haue more
      <lb n="269"/>diseases then he knew for.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="270">Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at mee: the<cb n="2"/>
         
      <lb n="271"/>braine of this foolish compounded Clay‑man, is not able
      <lb n="272"/>to inuent any thing that tends to laughter, more then I
      <lb n="273"/>inuent, or is inuented on me. I am not onely witty in my
      <lb n="274"/>selfe, but the cause that wit is in other men. I doe heere
      <lb n="275"/>walke before thee, like a Sow, that hath o'rewhelm'd all
      <lb n="276"/>her Litter, but one. If the Prince put thee into my Ser­
      <lb n="277"/>uice for any other reason, then to set mee off, why then I
      <lb n="278"/>haue no iudgement. Thou horson Mandrake, thou art
      <lb n="279"/>fitter to be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heeles. I
      <lb n="280"/>was neuer mann'd with an Agot till now: but I will sette
      <lb n="281"/>you neyther in Gold, nor Siluer, but in vilde apparell, and
      <lb n="282"/>send you backe againe to your Master, for a Iewell. The
      <lb n="283"/>
         <hi rend="italic">Iuuenall</hi>(the Prince your Master) whose Chin is not yet
      <lb n="284"/>fledg'd, I will sooner have a beard grow in the Palme of
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      <lb n="286"/>not sticke to say, his Face is a Face‑Royall. Heauen may
      <lb n="287"/>finish it when he will, it is not a haire amisse yet: he may
      <lb n="288"/>keepe it still at a Face‑Royall, for a Barber shall neuer
      <lb n="289"/>earne six pence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if
      <lb n="290"/>he had writ man ever since his Father was a Batchellour.
      <lb n="291"/>He may keepe his owne Grace, but he is almost out of
      <lb n="292"/>mine, I can assure him. What said M.<hi rend="italic">Dombledon</hi>, about
      <lb n="293"/>the Satten for my short Cloake, and Slops<c rend="italic">?</c>
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   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Pag.</speaker>
      <p n="294">He said sir, you should procure him better Assu­
      <lb n="295"/>rance, then<hi rend="italic">Bardolfe:</hi>he wold not take his Bond &amp; yours,
      <lb n="296"/>he lik'd not the Security.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="297">Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton, may his
      <lb n="298"/>Tongue be hotter, a horson<hi rend="italic">Achitophel</hi>; a Rascally‑yea‑
      <lb n="299"/>forsooth‑knaue, to beare a Gentleman in hand, and then
      <lb n="300"/>stand vpon Security? The horson smooth‑pates doe now,
      <lb n="301"/>we are nothing but high shoes, and bunches of Keyes at
      <lb n="302"/>their girdles: and if a man is through with them in ho­
      <lb n="303"/>nest Taking‑vp, then they must stand vpon Securitie: I
      <lb n="304"/>had as liefe they would put Rats‑bane in my mouth, as
      <lb n="305"/>offer to stoppe it with Security. I look'd hee should have
      <lb n="306"/>sent me two and twenty yards of Satten (as I am true
      <lb n="307"/>Knight) and he sends me Security. Well, he may sleep in
      <lb n="308"/>Security, for he hath the horne of Abundance: and the
      <lb n="309"/>lightnesse of his Wife shines through it, and yet cannot
      <lb n="310"/>he see, though he haue his owne Lanthorne to light him.
      <lb n="311"/>Where's<hi rend="italic">Bardolfe</hi>?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Pag.</speaker>
      <p n="312">He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship
      <lb n="313"/>a horse.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="314">I bought him in Paules, and hee'l buy mee a horse
      <lb n="315"/>in Smithfield. If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes, I
      <lb n="316"/>were Mann'd, Hors'd, and Wiu'd.</p>
   </sp>
   <stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Chiefe Iustice, and Seruant.</stage>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Pag.</speaker>
      <p n="317">Sir, heere comes the Nobleman that committed
      <lb n="318"/>the Prince for striking him, about<hi rend="italic">Bardolfe</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="319">Wait close, I will not see him.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ch. Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="320">What's he that goes there?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="321">
         <hi rend="italic">Falstaffe</hi>, and't please your Lordship.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="322">He that was in question for the Robbery?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="323">He my Lord, but he hath since done good service
      <lb n="324"/>at Shrewsbury: and (as I heare) is now going with some
      <lb n="325"/>Charge, to the Lord<hi rend="italic">Iohn of Lancaster</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="326">What to Yorke? Call him backe againe.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="327">Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn Falstaffe</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="328">Boy, tell him, I am deafe.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Pag.</speaker>
      <p n="329">You must speake lowder, my Master is deafe.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="330">I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good.
      <lb n="331"/>Go plucke him by the Elbow, I must speake with him.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="332">Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="333">What? a yong knaue and beg? Is there not wars? Is
      <lb n="334"/>there not imployment<c rend="italic">?</c>Doth not the<choice>
            <abbr>K.</abbr>
            <expan>King</expan>
         </choice>lack subiects? Do
      <lb n="335"/>not the Rebels want Soldiers? Though it be a shame to be<pb facs="FFimg:axc0399-0.jpg" n="77"/>
         <cb n="1"/>sig
      <lb n="336"/>on any side but one, it is worse shame to begge, then to
      <lb n="337"/>be on the worst side, were it worse then the name of Re­
      <lb n="338"/>bellion can tell how to make it.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="339">You mistake me Sir.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="340">Why sir? Did I say you were an honest man? Set­
      <lb n="341"/>ting my Knight‑hood, and my Souldiership aside, I had
      <lb n="342"/>lyed in my throat, if I had said so.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="343">I pray you (Sir) then set your Knighthood and
      <lb n="344"/>your Souldier‑ship aside, and giue mee leaue to tell you,
      <lb n="345"/>you lye in your throat, if you say I am any other then an
      <lb n="346"/>honest man.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="347">I give thee leaue to tell me so? I lay a‑side that
      <lb n="348"/>which growes to me? If thou get'st any leaue of me, hang
      <lb n="349"/>me: if thou tak'st leaue, thou wer't better be hang'd: you
      <lb n="350"/>Hunt‑counter, hence: Auant.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-ser">
      <speaker rend="italic">Ser.</speaker>
      <p n="351">Sir, my Lord would speake with you.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="352">Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn Falstaffe</hi>, a word with you.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="353">My good Lord: giue your Lordship good time of
      <lb n="354"/>the day. I am glad to see your Lordship abroad: I heard
      <lb n="355"/>say your Lordship was sicke. I hope your Lordship goes
      <lb n="356"/>abroad by aduise. Your Lordship (though not clean past
      <lb n="357"/>your youth) hath yet some smack of age in you: some rel­
      <lb n="358"/>lish of the faltnesse of Time, and I most humbly beseech
      <lb n="359"/>your Lordship, to haue a reuerend care of your health.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="360">Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>, I sent you before your Expedition, to
      <lb n="361"/>Shrewsburie.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="362">If it please your Lordship, I heare his Maiestie is
      <lb n="363"/>return'd with some discomfort from Wales.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="364">I talke not of his Maiesty: you would not come
      <lb n="365"/>when I sent for you?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="366">And I heare moreover, his Highnesse is falne into
      <lb n="367"/>this same whorson Apoplexie.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="368">Well, heauen mend him. I pray let me speak with
      <lb rend="turnover" n="369"/>
         <c rend="turnover">(</c>you.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="370">This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethar­
      <lb n="371"/>gie, a sleeping of the blood, a horson Tingling.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="372">What tell you me of it? be it as it is.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="373">It hath it originall from much greefe; from study
      <lb n="374"/>and perturbation of the braine. I have read the cause of
      <lb n="375"/>his effects in<hi rend="italic">Galen</hi>. It is a kinde of deafenesse.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="376">I thinke you are falne into the disease: For you
      <lb n="377"/>heare not what I say to you.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="378">Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't please
      <lb n="379"/>you) it is the disease of not Listning, the malady of not
      <lb n="380"/>Marking, that I am troubled withall.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="381">To punish you by the heeles, would amend the
      <lb n="382"/>attention of your eares, &amp; I care not if I be your Physitian</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="383">I am as poore as<hi rend="italic">Iob</hi>, my Lord; but not so Patient:
      <lb n="384"/>your Lordship may minister the Potion of imprisonment
      <lb n="385"/>to me, in respect of Pouertie: but how I should bee your
      <lb n="386"/>Patient, to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make
      <lb n="387"/>some dram of a scruple, or indeede, a scruple it selfe.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="388">I sent for you (when there were matters against
      <lb n="389"/>you for your life) to come speake with me.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="390">As I was then advised by my learned Councel, in
      <lb n="391"/>The lawes of this Land‑service, I did not come.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="392">Wel, the truth is (sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>) you liue in great infamy</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="393">He that buckles him in my belt,<choice>
            <abbr>cānot</abbr>
            <expan>cannot</expan>
         </choice>liue in lesse.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="394">Your Meanes is very slender, and your wast great.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="395">I would it were otherwise: I would my Meanes
      <lb n="396"/>were greater, and my waste slenderer.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="397">You haue misled the youthfull Prince.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="398">The yong Prince hath misled mee. I am the Fel­
      <lb n="399"/>low with the great belly, and he my Dogge.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="400">Well, I am loth to gall a new‑heal'd wound: your
      <lb n="401"/>daies service at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded ouer
      <lb n="402"/>your Nights exploit on Gads‑hill. You may thanke the<cb n="2"/>
         
      <lb n="403"/>vnquiet time, for your quiet o're‑posting that Action.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="404">My Lord?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="405">But since all is wel, keep it so: wake not a sleeping
      <lb rend="turnover" n="406"/>
         <c rend="turnover">(</c>Wolfe.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="407">To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to smell a Fox.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iu.</speaker>
      <p n="408">What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="409">A Wassell‑Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did
      <lb n="410"/>say of wax, my growth would approue the truth.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="411">There is not a white haire on your face, but shold
      <lb n="412"/>haue his effect of grauity.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="413">His effect of grauy, grauy, grauy.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust</speaker>
      <p n="414">You follow th<gap extent="1"
              unit="chars"
              reason="illegible"
              agent="stain"
              resp="#ES"/>yong Prince vp and downe, like
      <lb n="415"/>his euill Angell.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="416">Not so (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I
      <lb n="417"/>hope, he that lookes vpon mee, will take mee without,
      <lb n="418"/>weighing: and yet, in some respects I grant, I cannot go:
      <lb n="419"/>I cannot tell. Vertue is of so little regard in these Costor­
      <lb n="420"/>mongers that true valor is turn'd Beare‑heard. Pregnan­
      <lb n="421"/>cie is made a Tapster, and hath his quicke wit wasted in
      <lb n="422"/>giuing Recknings: all the other gifts appertinent to man
      <lb n="423"/>(as the malice of this Age shapes them) are not woorth a
      <lb n="424"/>Gooseberry. You that are old, consider not the capaci­
      <lb n="425"/>ties of vs that are yong: you measure the heat of our Li­
      <lb n="426"/>uers, with the bitternes of your gals: &amp; we that are in the
      <lb n="427"/>vaward of our youth, I must confesse, are wagges too.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="428">Do you set downe your name in the scrowle of
      <lb n="429"/>youth, that are written downe old, with all the Charrac­
      <lb n="430"/>ters of age? Haue you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a yel­
      <lb n="431"/>low cheeke? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an incresing
      <lb n="432"/>belly? Is not your voice broken? your winde short? your
      <lb n="433"/>wit single? and euery part about you blasted with Anti­
      <lb n="434"/>quity? and wil you cal your selfe yong? Fy, fy, fy sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="435">My Lord, l was borne with a white head, &amp; som­
      <lb n="436"/>thing a round belly. For my voice, I haue lost it with hal­
      <lb n="437"/>lowing and singing of Anthemes. To approue my youth
      <lb n="438"/>farther, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in iudge­
      <lb n="439"/>ment and understanding: and he that will caper with mee
      <lb n="440"/>for a thousand Markes, let him lend me the mony, &amp; haue
      <lb n="441"/>at him. For the boxe of th'eare that the Prince gaue you,
      <lb n="442"/>he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a sensi­
      <lb n="443"/>ble Lord. I haue checkt him for it, and the yong Lion re­
      <lb n="444"/>pents: Marry not in ashes and sacke‑cloath, but in new
      <lb n="445"/>Silke, and old Sacke,</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="446">Wel, heauen send the Prince a better companion.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="447">Heaven send the Companion a better Prince: I
      <lb n="448"/>cannot rid my hands of him.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="449">Well, the King hath seuer'd you and Prince<hi rend="italic">Har­
      <lb n="450"/>ry</hi>, I heare you are going with Lord<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>of Lancaster, a­
      <lb n="451"/>gainst the Archbishop, and the Earle of Northumberland</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="452">Yes, I thanke your pretty sweet wit for it: but
      <lb n="453"/>looke you pray, (all you that kisse my Ladie Peace, at
      <lb n="454"/>home) that our Armies ioyn not in a hot day: for if I take
      <lb n="455"/>but two shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweat ex­
      <lb n="456"/>traordinarily: if it bee a hot day, if I brandish any thing
      <lb n="457"/>but my Bottle, would I might neuer spit white againe:
      <lb n="458"/>There is not a daungerous Action can peepe out his head,
      <lb n="459"/>but I am thrust upon it. Well, I cannot last euer.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <l n="460">Well, be honest, be honest, and heauen blesse your
      <lb/>Expedition.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="461">Will your Lordship lend mee a thousand pound,
      <lb n="462"/>to furnish me forth?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-lcj">
      <speaker rend="italic">Iust.</speaker>
      <p n="463">Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient
      <lb n="464"/>to beare crosses. Fare you well. Commend mee to my
      <lb n="465"/>Cosin Westmerland.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="466">If I do, fillop me with a three‑man‑Beetle. A man
      <lb n="467"/>can no more separate Age and Couetousnesse, then he can
      <lb n="468"/>part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the<pb facs="FFimg:axc0400-0.jpg" n="78"/>
         <cb n="1"/>
         
      <lb n="469"/>one, and the pox pinches the other; and so both the De­
      <lb n="470"/>grees prevent my curses. Boy?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <p n="471">Sir.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="472">What money is in my purse?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <p n="473">Seuen groats, and two pence.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-2h4-fal">
      <speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
      <p n="474">I can get no remedy against this Consumption of
      <lb n="475"/>the purse. Borrowing onely lingers, and lingers it out,
      <lb n="476"/>but the disease is incureable. Go beare this letter to my
      <lb n="477"/>Lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of
      <lb n="478"/>Westmerland, and this to old Mistris<hi rend="italic">Vrsula</hi>, whome I
      <lb n="479"/>haue weekly sworne to marry, since perceiu'd the first
      <lb n="480"/>white haire on my chin. About it: you know where to
      <lb n="481"/>finde me. A pox of this Gowt, or a Gowt of this Poxe:
      <lb n="482"/>for the one or th'other playes the rogue with my great
      <lb n="483"/>toe: It is no matter, if I do halt, I haue the warres for my
      <lb n="484"/>colour, and my Pension shall seeme the more reasonable.
      <lb n="485"/>A good wit will make vse of any thing: I will turne dis­
      <lb n="486"/>eases to commodity.</p>
   </sp>
   <stage rend="italic rightJustified" type="exit">Exeunt</stage>
</div>

        
        

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