Porpentine,
Antipholus
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Why how now
Dromio, where
run'st thou so
fast?
Doe you know me sir? Am I
Dromio? Am I
your man? Am I my selfe?
Thou art
Dromio, thou art my man, thou art
thy selfe.
I am an asse, I am a womans man, and besides
my selfe.
What womans man? and how besides thy
selfe?
Marrie sir, besides my selfe, I am due to a woman:
One that claimes me, one that haunts me, one that will
haue me.
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<div type="scene" n="1">
<pb facs="FFimg:axc0110-0.jpg" n="90"/>
<cb n="1"/>
<head rend="italic center">Actus Tertius. Scena Prima.</head>
<head type="supplied">[Act 3, Scene 1]</head>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio, Angelo the
<lb/>Goldsmith, and Balthaser the Merchant.</stage>
<sp who="#F-err-ean">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Anti</speaker>
<l n="599">Good signior<hi rend="italic">Angelo</hi>you must excuse vs all,</l>
<l n="600">My wife is shrewish when I keepe not howres;</l>
<l n="601">Say that I lingerd with you at your shop</l>
<l n="602">To see the making of her Carkanet,</l>
<l n="603">And that to morrow you will bring it home.</l>
<l n="604">But here's a villaine that would face me downe</l>
<l n="605">He met me on the Mart, and that I beat him,</l>
<l n="606">And charg'd him with a thousand markes in gold,</l>
<l n="607">And that I did denie my wife and house;</l>
<l n="608">Thou drunkard thou, what didst thou meane by this?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="609">Say what you wil sir, but I know what I know,</l>
<l n="610">That you beat me at the Mart I haue your hand to show;</l>
<l n="611">If<choice>
<abbr>y<choice>
<orig>d</orig>
<corr>
<c rend="superscript">r</c>
</corr>
</choice>
</abbr>
<expan>the</expan>
</choice>skin were parchment, &<choice>
<abbr>yd</abbr>
<expan>the</expan>
</choice>blows you gaue were ink,</l>
<l n="612">Your owne hand‑writing would tell you what I thinke.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ean">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Ant.</speaker>
<l n="613">I thinke thou art an asse</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="614">Marry so it doth appeare</l>
<l n="615">By the wrongs I suffer, and the blowes I beare,</l>
<l n="616">I should kicke being kickt, and being at that passe,</l>
<l n="617">You would keepe from my heeles, and beware of an asse.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ean">
<speaker rend="italic">E. An.</speaker>
<l n="618">Y'are sad signior<hi rend="italic">Balthazar</hi>, pray God our cheer</l>
<l n="619">May answer my good will, and your good welcom here.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-bal">
<speaker rend="italic">Bal.</speaker>
<l n="620">I hold your dainties cheap sir, & your welcom deer.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ean">
<speaker rend="italic">E. An.</speaker>
<l n="621">Oh signior<hi rend="italic">Balthazar</hi>, either at flesh or fish,</l>
<l n="622">A table full of welcome, makes scarce one dainty dish.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-bal">
<speaker rend="italic">Bal.</speaker>
<l n="623">Good meat sir is cõmon that euery churle affords.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="624">And welcome more common, for thats nothing
<lb/>but words.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-bal">
<speaker rend="italic">Bal.</speaker>
<l n="625">Small cheere and great welcome, makes a mer‑
<lb/>rie feast.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="626">I, to a niggardly Host, and more sparing guest:</l>
<l n="627">But though my cates be meane, take them in good part,</l>
<l n="628">Better cheere may you haue, but not with better hart.</l>
<l n="629">But soft, my doore is lockt; goe bid them let vs in.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="630">
<hi rend="italic">Maud, Briget, Marian, Cisley, Gillian, Ginn.</hi>
</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="631">Mome, Malthorse, Capon, Coxcombe, Idi
<lb/>ot, Patch,</l>
<l n="632">Either get thee from the dore, or sit downe at the hatch:</l>
<l n="633">Dost thou coniure for wenches, that<choice>
<abbr>y<c rend="superscript">u</c>
</abbr>
<expan>thou</expan>
</choice>calst for such store,</l>
<l n="634">When one is one too many, goe get thee from the dore.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="635">What patch is made our Porter? my Master
<lb/>stayes in the street.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="636">Let him walke from whence he came, lest hee
<lb/>catch cold on's feet.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ean">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Ant.</speaker>
<l n="637">Who talks within there? hoa, open the dore.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="638">Right sir, Ile tell you when, and you'll tell
<lb/>me wherefore.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Ant.</speaker>
<l n="639">Wherefore? for my dinner: I haue not din'd to
<lb/>day.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="640">Nor to day here you must not come againe
<lb/>when you may.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="641">What art thou that keep'st mee out from the
<lb/>howse I owe?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="642">The Porter for this time Sir, and my name is
<lb/>
<hi rend="italic">Dromio.</hi>
</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="643">O villaine, thou hast stolne both mine office
<lb/>and my name,</l>
<l n="644">The one nere got me credit, the other mickle blame:</l>
<l n="645">If thou hadst beene<hi rend="italic">Dromio</hi>to day in my place,</l>
<cb n="2"/>
<l n="646">Thou wouldst haue chang'd thy face for a name, or thy
<lb/>name for an asse.</l>
</sp>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Luce.</stage>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="647">What a coile is there<hi rend="italic">Dromio</hi>? who are those
<lb/>at the gate?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="648">Let my Master in<hi rend="italic">Luce.</hi>
</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="649">Faith no, hee comes too late, and so tell your
<lb/>Master.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="650">O Lord I must laugh, haue at you with a Pro‑
<lb/>uerbe,</l>
<l n="651">Shall I set in my staffe.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="652">Haue at you with another, that's when? can
<lb/>you tell?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="653">If thy name be called<hi rend="italic">Luce, Luce</hi>thou hast answer'd
<lb/>him well.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="654">Doe you heare you minion, you'll let vs in I
<lb/>hope?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="655">I thought to haue askt you.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="656">And you said no.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="657">So come helpe, well strooke, there was blow
<lb/>for blow.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="658">Thou baggage let me in.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="659">Can you tell for whose sake?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E.Drom.</speaker>
<l n="660">Master, knocke the doore hard.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="661">Let him knocke till it ake.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="662">You'll crie for this minion, if I beat the doore
<lb/>downe.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-luc">
<speaker rend="italic">Luce.</speaker>
<l n="663">What needs all that, and a paire of stocks in the
<lb/>towne?</l>
</sp>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Adriana.</stage>
<sp who="#F-err-adr">
<speaker rend="italic">Adr.</speaker>
<l n="664">Who is that at the doore<choice>
<abbr>yT</abbr>
<expan>that</expan>
</choice>keeps all this noise?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="665">By my troth your towne is troubled with vnruly
<lb/>boies.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="666">Are you there Wife? you might haue come
<lb/>before.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-adr">
<speaker rend="italic">Adri.</speaker>
<l n="667">Your wife sir knaue? go get you from the dore.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="668">If you went in paine Master, this knaue wold
<lb/>goe sore.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ang">
<speaker rend="italic">Angelo.</speaker>
<l n="669">Heere is neither cheere sir, nor welcome, we
<lb/>would faine haue either.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-bal">
<speaker rend="italic">Baltz.</speaker>
<l n="670">In debating which was best, wee shall part
<lb/>with neither.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="671">They stand at the doore, Master, bid them
<lb/>welcome hither.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="672">There is something in the winde, that we cannot
<lb/>get in.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="673">You would say so Master, if your garments
<lb/>were thin.</l>
<l n="674">Your cake here is warme within: you stand here in the
<lb/>cold.</l>
<l n="675">It would make a man mad as a Bucke to be so bought
<lb/>and sold.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Ant.</speaker>
<l n="676">Go fetch me something, Ile break ope the gate.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="677">Breake any breaking here, and Ile breake your
<lb/>knaues pate.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="678">A man may breake a word with your sir, and
<lb/>words are but winde:</l>
<l n="679">I and breake it in your face, so he break it not behinde.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="680">It seemes thou want'st breaking, out vpon thee
<lb/>hinde.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="681">Here's too much out vpon thee, I pray thee let
<lb/>me in.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-sdr">
<speaker rend="italic">S. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="682">I, when fowles haue no feathers, and fish haue
<lb/>no fin.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Ant.</speaker>
<l n="683">Well, Ile breake in: go borrow me a crow.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-edr">
<speaker rend="italic">E. Dro.</speaker>
<l n="684">A crow without feather, Master meane you so;</l>
<pb facs="FFimg:axc0111-0.jpg" n="91"/>
<cb n="1"/>
<l n="685">For a fish without a finne, ther's a fowle without a fether,</l>
<l n="686">If a crow help vs in sirra, wee'll plucke a crow together.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Ant.</speaker>
<l n="687">Go, get thee gon, fetch me an iron Crow.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-bal">
<speaker rend="italic">Balth.</speaker>
<l n="688">Haue patience sir, oh let it not be so,</l>
<l n="689">Heerein you warre against your reputation,</l>
<l n="690">And draw within the compasse of suspect</l>
<l n="691">Th' vnuiolated honor of your wife.</l>
<l n="692">Once this your long experience of your wisedome,</l>
<l n="693">Her sober vertue, yeares, and modestie,</l>
<l n="694">Plead on your part some cause to you vnknowne;</l>
<l n="695">And doubt not sir, but she will well excuse</l>
<l n="696">Why at this time the dores are made against you.</l>
<l n="697">Be rul'd by me, depart in patience,</l>
<l n="698">And let vs to the Tyger all to dinner,</l>
<l n="699">And about euening come your selfe alone,</l>
<l n="700">To know the reason of this strange restraint:</l>
<l n="701">If by strong hand you offer to breake in</l>
<l n="702">Now in the stirring passage of the day,</l>
<l n="703">A vulgar comment will be made of it;</l>
<l n="704">And that supposed by the common rowt</l>
<l n="705">Against your yet vngalled estimation,</l>
<l n="706">That may with foule intrusion enter in,</l>
<l n="707">And dwell vpon your graue when you are dead;</l>
<l n="708">For slander liues vpon succession:</l>
<l n="709">For euer hows'd, where it gets possession.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="710">You haue preuail'd, I will depart in quiet,</l>
<l n="711">And in despight of mirth meane to be merrie:</l>
<l n="712">I know a wench of excellent discourse,</l>
<l n="713">Prettie and wittie; wilde, and yet too gentle;</l>
<l n="714">There will we dine: this woman that I meane</l>
<l n="715">My wife (but I protest without desert)</l>
<l n="716">Hath oftentimes vpbraided me withall:</l>
<l n="717">To her will we to dinner, get you home</l>
<l n="718">And fetch the chaine, by this I know 'tis made,</l>
<l n="719">Bring it I pray you to the<hi rend="italic">Porpentine</hi>,</l>
<l n="720">For there's the house: That chaine will I bestow</l>
<l n="721">(Be it for nothing but to spight my wife)</l>
<l n="722">Vpon mine hostesse there, good sir make haste:</l>
<l n="723">Since mine owne doores refuse to entertaine me,</l>
<l n="724">Ile knocke elsewhere, to see if they'll disdaine me.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-ang">
<speaker rend="italic">Ang.</speaker>
<l n="725">Ile meet you at that place some houre hence.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-err-san">
<speaker rend="italic">Anti.</speaker>
<l n="726">Do so, this iest shall cost me some expence.</l>
</sp>
<stage rend="italic rightJustified" type="exit">Exeunt.</stage>
</div>