[Act 3, Scene 2]
Enter Shallow and Silence: with Mouldie, Shadow,
Wart, Feeble, Bull‑calfe.
Come‑on, come‑on, come‑on: giue mee your
Hand, Sir; giue mee your Hand, Sir: an early stirrer, by
the Rood. And how doth my good Cousin
Good‑morrow, good Cousin
And how doth my Cousin, your Bed‑fellow?
and your fairest Daughter, and mine, my God‑Daughter
Alas, a blacke Ouzell (Cousin
By yea and nay, Sir, I dare say my Cousin
is become a good Scholler? hee is at Oxford still, is hee
Indeede Sir, to my cost.
Hee must then to the Innes of Court shortly: I
was once of
Clements Inne; where (I thinke) they will
talke of mad
You were called lustie
Shallow then (Cousin.)
I was call'd any thing: and I would haue done
any thing indeede too, and roundly too. There was I, and
Iohn Doit of Staffordshire, and blacke
Francis Pick‑bone, and
Will Squele a Cot‑sal‑man, you
had not foure such Swindge‑bucklers in all the Innes of
Court againe: And I may say to you, wee knew where
Bona‑Roba's were, and had the best of them all at
commandement. Then was
Iacke Falstaffe (now Sir
a Boy, and Page to
Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Nor
Iohn (Cousin) that comes hither anon a
The same Sir
Iohn, the very same: I saw him
Scoggan's Head at the Court‑Gate, when hee was
a Crack, not thus high: and the very same day did I fight
Sampson Stock‑fish, a Fruiterer, behinde Greyes
Inne. Oh the mad dayes that I haue spent! and to see
how many of mine olde Acquaintance arc dead?
Wee shall all follow (Cousin.)
Certaine: 'tis certaine: very sure, very sure:
Death is certaine to all, all shall dye. How a good Yoke
of Bullocks at Stamford Fayre?
Truly Cousin, I was not there.
Death is certaine. Is old
Double of your Towne
? See, see: hee drew a good Bow: and
dead? hee shot a fine shoote.
Iohn of Gaunt loued
him well, and betted much Money on his head. Dead?
hee would haue clapt in the Clowt at Twelve‑score, and
carryed you a fore‑hand Shaft at foureteene, and foure
teene and a halfe, that it would haue done a mans heart
good to see. How a score of Ewes now
Thereafter as they be: a score of good Ewes
may be worth tenne pounds.
And is olde
Enter Bardolph and his Boy.
Heere come two of
Iohn Falstaffes Men (as I
Good‑morrow, honest Gentlemen.
I beseech you, which is Iustice
Robert Shallow (sir) a poore Esquire of this
Countie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace:
What is your good pleasure with me?
My Captaine (Sir) commends him to you:
my Captaine, Sir
Iohn Falstaffe: a tall Gentleman, and a
most gallant Leader.
Hee greetes me well: (Sir) I knew him a
good Back‑Sword‑man. How doth the good Knight?
may I aske, how my Lady his Wife doth?
Sir, pardon: a Souldier is better accommoda
ted, then with a Wife.
It is well said, Sir; and it is well said, indeede,
too: Better accommodated? it is good, yea indeede is
it: good phrases are surely, and every where very com
mendable. Accommodated, it comes of
very good, a good Phrase.
Pardon, Sir, I haue heard the word. Phrase
call you it? by this Day, I know not the Phrase: but
I will maintaine the Word with my Sword, to bee a
Souldier‑like Word, and a Word of exceeding good
Command. Accommodated; that is, when a man is
(as they say) accommodated: or, when a man is, being
whereby he thought to be accommodated, which is an
It is very iust: Looke, heere comes good Sir
Iohn. Giue me your hand, giue me your Worships good
hand: Trust me, you looke well: and bear your yeares
very well. Welcome, good Sir
I am glad to see you well, good M.
Sure‑card as I thinke?
Iohn, it is my Cosin
Silence: in Commissi
on with mee.
Silence, it well befits you should be of
Your good Worship is welcome.
Fye, this is hot weather (Gentlemen) haue you
prouided me here halfe a dozen of sufficient men?
Marry haue we sir: Will you sit?
Let me see them, I beseech you.
Where's the Roll; Where's the Roll? Where's
the Roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see: so, so, so, so:
yea marry Sir.
Raphe Mouldie: let them appeare as I call:
let them do so, let them do so: Let mee see, Where is
Heere, if it please you.
What thinke you (Sir
Iohn) a good limb'd fel
low: yong. strong, and of good friends.
Is thy name Mouldie?
Yea, if it please you.
'Tis the more time thou wert vs'd.
Ha, ha, ha, most excellent. Things that are moul
die, lacke use: very singular good. Well saide Sir
very well said.
I was prickt well enough before, if you could
haue let me alone: my old Dame will be vndone now, for
one to doe her Husbandry, and her Drudgery; you need
not to haue prickt me, there are other men fitter to goe
out, then I.
Go too: peace
Mouldie, you shall goe.
it is time you were spent.
Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: Know you
where you are? For the other sir
Iohn: Let me see:
I marry, let me haue him to fit vnder: he's like to
be a cold souldier.
Shadow, whose sonne art thou
My Mothers sonne, Sir.
Thy Mothers sonne: like enough, and thy Fa
thers shadow: so the sonne of the Female, is the shadow
of the Male: it is often so indeede, but not of the Fathers
Do you like him, sir
Shadow will serue for Summer: pricke him: For
wee haue a number of shadowes to fill vppe the Muster
Is thy name
Thou art a very ragged Wart.
Shall I pricke him downe,
It were superfluous: for his apparrel is built vp
on his backe, and the whole frame stands vpon pins: prick
him no more.
Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir: you can doe it; I
commend you well.
What Trade art thou
A Womans Taylor sir.
Shall I pricke him, sir?
But if he had beene a mans Taylor, he would haue prick'd
you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemies Bat
taile, as thou hast done in a Womans petticote?
I will doe my good will sir, you can have no
Well said, good Womans Tailour: Well sayde
Feeble: thou wilt bee as valiant as the wrath
full Doue, or most magnanimous Mouse.. Pricke the wo
mans Taylour well Master
Shallow, deep Maister
Wart might haue gone sir.
I would thou wert a mans Tailor, that y
mend him, and make him fit to goe. I cannot put him to
a priuate souldier, that is the Leader of so many thou
sands. Let that suffice, most Forcible
It shall suffice.
I am bound to thee, reuerend
Feeble. Who is
Peter Bulcalfe of the Greene.
Yea marry, let vs see
Trust me, a likely Fellow. Come, pricke me
till he roare againe.
Oh, good my Lord Captaine.
What? do'st thou roare before th'art prickt.
Oh sir, I am a diseased man.
What disease hast thou?
A whorson cold sir, a cough sir, which I caught
with Ringing in the Kings affayres, vpon his Coronation
Come, thou shalt go to the Warres in a Gowne:
we will haue away thy Cold, and I will take such order,
that thy friends shall ring for thee. Is heere all?
There is two more called then your number:
you must haue but foure heere sir, and so I pray you go in
with me to dinner.
Come, I will goe drinke with you, but I cannot
tarry dinner. I am glad to see you in good troth, Master
Iohn, doe you remember since wee lay all
night in the Winde‑mill, in
No more of that good Master
more of that.
Ha? it was a merry night. And is
She lives, M.
She neuer could away with me.
Neuer, neuer: she would alwayes say shee could
not abide M.
I could anger her to the heart: Shee was then a
Bona‑Roba. Doth she hold her owne well.
Old old, M.
Nay, she must be old, she cannot choose but be
old: certaine shee's old: and had
Robin Night‑worke, by
Night‑worke, before I came to
That's fiftie fiue yeeres agoe.
Silence, that thou hadst seene that,
that this Knight and I haue seene: hah, Sir
Iohn, said I
Wee haue heard the Chymes at mid‑night, Ma
That wee haue, that wee haue; in faith, Sir
wee haue: our watch‑word was, Hem‑Boyes. Come,
let's to Dinner; come, let's to Dinner: Oh the dayes that
wee haue seene. Come, come.
Good Master Corporate
Bardolph, stand my
friend, and heere is foure
Harry tenne shillings in French
Crownes for you: in very truth, sir, I had as lief be hang'd
sir, as goe: and yet, for mine owne part, sir, I do not care;
but rather, because I am vnwilling, and for mine owne
part, haue a desire to stay with my friends: else, sir, I did
not care, for mine owne part, so much.
Go‑too: stand aside.
And good Master Corporall Captaine, for my
old Dames sake, stand my friend: shee hath no body to
doe any thing about her, when I am gone: and she is old,
and cannot helpe her selfe: you shall haue fortie, sir.
Go‑too: stand aside.
I care not, a man can die but once: wee owe a
death. I will neuer beare a base minde: if it be my desti
nie, so: if it be not, so: no man is too good to serue his
Prince: and let it goe which way it will, he that dies this
yeere, is quit for the next.
Well said, thou art a good fellow.
Nay, I will beare no base minde.
Come sir, which men shall I haue?
Foure of which you please.
Sir, a word with you: I haue three pound, to
Iohn, which foure will you haue?
Doe you chuse for me.
Mouldie, Bull‑calfe, Feeble,and
Bull‑calfe: for you
at home. till you are past seruice: and for your part,
, grow til you come vnto it: I will none of you.
Iohn, doe not your selfe wrong, they
are your likelyest men, and I would haue you seru'd with
Will you tell me (Master
Shallow)how to chuse
a man? Care I for the Limbe, the Thewes, the stature,
bulke, and bigge assemblance of a man? giue mee the
Wart? you see what
a ragged appearance it is: hee shall charge you, and
discharge you, with the motion of a Pewterers Ham
mer: come off, and on, swifter then hee that gibbets on
the Brewers Bucket. And this same halfe‑fac'd fellow,
Shadow, giue me this man: hee presents no marke to the
Enemie, the foe‑man may with as great ayme leuell at
the edge of a Pen‑knife: and for a Retrait, how swiftly
Feeble, the Womans Taylor, runne off. O, giue
me the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a
Wart, Trauerse: thus, thus, thus.
Come, manage me your Calyuer: so: very well,
go‑too, very good, exceeding good. O, giue me alwayes
a little, leane, old, chopt, bald Shot. Well said
art a good Scab: hold, there is a Tester for thee.
Hee is not his Crafts‑master, hee doth not doe
it right. I remember at Mile‑end‑Greene, when I lay
Clements Inne, I was then Sir
Show: there was a little quiuer fellow, and hee would
manage you his Peece thus: and hee would about,
and about, and come you in, and come you in: Rah,
tah, tah, would hee say, Bownce would hee say, and
away againe would hee goe, and againe would he come:
I shall neuer see such a fellow.
These fellowes will doe well, Master
Silence, I will not vse many wordes with
you: fare you well, Gentlemen both: I thanke you:
I must a dozen mile to night.
Bardolph, giue the Souldiers
Iohn, Heauen blesse you, and prosper your
Affaires, and send vs Peace. As you returne, visit
my house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed: per
aduenture I will with you to the Court.
I would you would, Master
Go‑too: I haue spoke at a word. Fare you
Fare you well, gentle Gentlemen. On
dolph, leade the men away. As I returne, I will fetch off
these Iustices: I doe see the bottome of Iustice
. How subiect wee old men are to this vice of Ly
ing? This same staru'd Iustice hath done nothing but
prate to me of the wildenesse of his Youth, and the
Feates hee hath done about Turnball‑street, and euery
third word a Lye, duer pay'd to the hearer, then the
Turkes Tribute. I doe remember him at
like a man made after Supper, of a Cheese‑paring. When
hee was naked, hee was, for all the world, like a forked
Radish, with a Head fantastically caru'd vpon it with a
Knife. Hee was so forlorne, that his Dimensions (to
any thicke fight) were inuincible. Hee was the very
Genius of Famine: hee came euer in the rereward of
the Fashion: And now is this Vices Dagger become a
Squire, and talks as familiarly of
Iohn of Gaunt, as if
hee had beene sworne Brother to him: and Ile be sworne
hee neuer saw him but once in the Tilt‑yard, and then he
burst his Head, for crowding among the Marshals men.
I saw it, and told
Iohn of Gaunt, hee beat his owne
Name, for you might haue truss'd him and all his Ap
parrell into an Eele‑skinne: the Case of a Treble Hoe
boy was a Mansion for him: a Court: and now hath
hee Land, and Beeues. Well, I will be acquainted with
him, if I returne: and it shall goe hard, but I will make
him a Philosophers two Stones to me. If the young
Dace be a Bayt for the old Pike, I see no reason, in the
Law of Nature, but I may snap at him. Let time shape,
and there an end.