The Merry Wiues of Windsor.Host.Pardon, Guest‑Iustice; a Mounseur
Mocke
water
Cai.Mock‑vater? vat is dat?Host.Mock‑water, in our English tongue, is Valour
(Bully.)
Cai.By gar, then I haue as much Mock‑vater as de
Englishman: scuruy‑Iack‑dog‑Priest: by
gar, mee vill
cut his eares.
Host.
[1060]
He will Clapper‑claw thee tightly (Bully.)Cai.Clapper‑de‑claw? vat is dat?Host.That is, he will make thee amends.Cai.By‐gar, me doe looke hee shall
clapper‐de‐claw
me, for by‐gar, me
vill haue it.
Host.And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag.Cai.
[1065]
Me tanck you for dat.Host.
And moreouer, (Bully) but first, M
r. Ghuest,
and M.
Page, & eeke Caualeiro
Slender, goe you through
the Towne
to
Frogmore.
Page.Sir
Hugh is there, is he?
Host.
[1070]
He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will
bring the
Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
Shal.We will doe it.All.Adieu, good M. Doctor.Cai.By‑gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for
a
Iack‑an‑Ape to
Anne
Page
.
Host.
Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold
[1075]
water on thy
Choller: goe about the fields with mee
through
Frogmore, I will bring thee where
Mistris
Anne
Page
is, at a Farm‑house a
Feasting: and thou shalt wooe
her:
Cride‑game, said I well?
Cai.
By‑gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue
[1080]
you:
and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,
de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
Host.For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward
Anne Page: said I well?
Cai.By‑gar, 'tis good: vell said.Host.Let vs wag then.Cai.
[1085]
Come at my heeles,
Iack Rugby.
Exeunt.
Actus Tertius. Scœna Prima.
[Act 3, Scene 1]
Enter Euans, Simple, Page,
Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius,
Rugby.
Euans.
I pray you now, good Master
Slenders
seruing
man, and friend
Simple by your name; which way haue
you
look'd for Master
Caius,
that calls himselfe Doctor
of Phisicke.
Sim.
[1090]
Marry Sir, the pittie‑ward, the Parke‑ward:
euery way: olde
Windsor way, and
euery way but the
Towne‑way.
Euan.
I most‑fehemently desire you, you will also
looke that way.
Sim.I will sir.Euan.
'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and
[1095]
trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued
me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls
a
bout his knaues costard, when I haue good
opportunities
for the orke: 'Plesse my soule:
To shallow Riuers to whose
falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we
make
our Peds of Roses: and a
thousand fragrant posies. To shal
low
: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great
dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: —When
as I sat in Pa
bilon: and a thousand vagram Posies.
To shallow, &c.
Sim.Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir
Hugh.
Euan.
[1105]
Hee's welcome:
To shallow Riuers, to
whose fals
:
Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?Sim.No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, M
r.
Shallow, and another Gentleman; from
Frogmore, ouer
the stile, this
way.
Euan.Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe it
in your
armes.
Shal.How now Master Parson? good morrow good
Sir
Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the
dice, and a good
Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull.
Slen.
[1110]
Ah sweet
Anne Page.
Page.'Saue you, good Sir
Hugh.
Euan.'Plesse you from his mercy‑sake, all of you.Shal.What? the Sword, and the Word?Doe you study them both, M
r. Parson?
Page.
[1115]
And youthfull still, in your doublet and hose,
this
raw‑rumaticke day?
Euan.There is reasons, and causes for it.Page.We are come to you, to doe a good office, M
r.
Parson.
Euan.Fery‑well: what is it?Page.
Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who
[1120]
(be‑like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is
at
most odds with his owne grauity and patience,
that euer
you saw.
Shal.
I haue liued foure‑score yeeres, and vpward: I
neuer
heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, so
[1125]
wide
of his owne respect.
Euan.What is he?Page.
I thinke you know him: M
r. Doctor
Caius the
renowned French Physician.
Euan.
Got's‑will, and his passion of my heart: I had
[1130]
as lief you would tell me of a messe of porredge.
Page.Why?Euan.He has no more knowledge in
Hibocrates
and
Galen, and hee is a knaue besides: a
cowardly knaue, as
you would desires to be acquainted
withall.
Page.I warrant you, hee's the man should fight with
him.
Slen.O sweet
Anne Page.
Shal.
[1135]
It appeares so by his weapons: keepe them a
sunder:
here comes Doctor
Caius.
Page.Nay good M
r. Parson, keepe in your weapon.
Shal.So doe you, good M
r. Doctor.
Host.Disarme them, and let them question: let them
keepe
their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Cai.
I pray you let‑a‑mee speake a word with your
[1140]
eare; vherefore vill you not meet‑a me?
Euan.Pray you vse your patience in good time.Cai.By‑gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn
Ape.
Euan.
Pray you let vs not be laughing‑stocks to other
mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and I will one
[1145]
way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal
about your knaues Cogs‑combe.
Cai.
Diable: Iack Rugby: mine
Host de Iarteer: haue I
not stay for him, to kill him? haue I not at de
place I did
appoint?
Euan.
[1150]
As I am a Christians‑soule, now looke you:
this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine
Host of the
Garter
.
Host.Peace, I say,
Gallia and
Gaule,
French & Welch,
Soule‑Curer, and Body‑Curer.
Cai.
I
Actus Tertius. Scœna Prima.
[Act 3, Scene 1]
Enter Euans, Simple, Page,
Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius,
Rugby.
Euans.
I pray you now, good Master
Slenders
seruing
man, and friend
Simple by your name; which way haue
you
look'd for Master
Caius,
that calls himselfe Doctor
of Phisicke.
Sim.
[1090]
Marry Sir, the pittie‑ward, the Parke‑ward:
euery way: olde
Windsor way, and
euery way but the
Towne‑way.
Euan.
I most‑fehemently desire you, you will also
looke that way.
Sim.I will sir.Euan.
'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and
[1095]
trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued
me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls
a
bout his knaues costard, when I haue good
opportunities
for the orke: 'Plesse my soule:
To shallow Riuers to whose
falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we
make
our Peds of Roses: and a
thousand fragrant posies. To shal
low
: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great
dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: —When
as I sat in Pa
bilon: and a thousand vagram Posies.
To shallow, &c.
Sim.Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir
Hugh.
Euan.
[1105]
Hee's welcome:
To shallow Riuers, to
whose fals
:
Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?Sim.No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, M
r.
Shallow, and another Gentleman; from
Frogmore, ouer
the stile, this
way.
Euan.Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe it
in your
armes.
Shal.How now Master Parson? good morrow good
Sir
Hugh: keepe a Gamester from the
dice, and a good
Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull.
Slen.
[1110]
Ah sweet
Anne Page.
Page.'Saue you, good Sir
Hugh.
Euan.'Plesse you from his mercy‑sake, all of you.Shal.What? the Sword, and the Word?Doe you study them both, M
r. Parson?
Page.
[1115]
And youthfull still, in your doublet and hose,
this
raw‑rumaticke day?
Euan.There is reasons, and causes for it.Page.We are come to you, to doe a good office, M
r.
Parson.
Euan.Fery‑well: what is it?Page.
Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who
[1120]
(be‑like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is
at
most odds with his owne grauity and patience,
that euer
you saw.
Shal.
I haue liued foure‑score yeeres, and vpward: I
neuer
heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, so
[1125]
wide
of his owne respect.
Euan.What is he?Page.
I thinke you know him: M
r. Doctor
Caius the
renowned French Physician.
Euan.
Got's‑will, and his passion of my heart: I had
[1130]
as lief you would tell me of a messe of porredge.
Page.Why?Euan.He has no more knowledge in
Hibocrates
and
Galen, and hee is a knaue besides: a
cowardly knaue, as
you would desires to be acquainted
withall.
Page.I warrant you, hee's the man should fight with
him.
Slen.O sweet
Anne Page.
Shal.
[1135]
It appeares so by his weapons: keepe them a
sunder:
here comes Doctor
Caius.
Page.Nay good M
r. Parson, keepe in your weapon.
Shal.So doe you, good M
r. Doctor.
Host.Disarme them, and let them question: let them
keepe
their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Cai.
I pray you let‑a‑mee speake a word with your
[1140]
eare; vherefore vill you not meet‑a me?
Euan.Pray you vse your patience in good time.Cai.By‑gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn
Ape.
Euan.
Pray you let vs not be laughing‑stocks to other
mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and I will one
[1145]
way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal
about your knaues Cogs‑combe.
Cai.
Diable: Iack Rugby: mine
Host de Iarteer: haue I
not stay for him, to kill him? haue I not at de
place I did
appoint?
Euan.
[1150]
As I am a Christians‑soule, now looke you:
this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine
Host of the
Garter
.
Host.Peace, I say,
Gallia and
Gaule,
French & Welch,
Soule‑Curer, and Body‑Curer.
Cai.I, dat is very good, excellant.Host.Peace, I say: heare mine Host of the Garter,Am I politicke? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiuell?
[1155]
Shall I loose my Doctor? No, hee giues me the Potions
and the Motions. Shall I loose my Parson? my Priest?
my Sir
Hugh? No, he giues me the
Prouerbes, and the
No‑verbes. Giue me thy hand (Celestiall) so: Boyes
of
Art, I haue deceiu'd you both: I haue directed you
to
[1160]
wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skinnes are
whole, and let burn'd Sacke be the issue: Come, lay
their
swords to pawne: Follow me, Lad of peace, follow,
fol
low, follow.
Shal.Trust me, a mad Host: follow Gentlemen,
fol
low.
Slen.
[1165]
O sweet
Anne Page.
Cai.Ha' do I perceiue dat? Haue you
make‑a‑de‑sot
of vs, ha, ha?
Eua.
This is well, he has made vs his vlowting‑stog:
I desire you that we may be friends: and let vs knog our
praines together to be reuenge on this same scall‑scur
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<div type="scene" n="1">
<head rend="italic center">Actus Tertius. Scœna Prima.</head>
<head type="supplied">[Act 3, Scene 1]</head>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Euans, Simple, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Caius,
<lb/>Rugby.</stage>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euans.</speaker>
<p n="1086">I pray you now, good Master<hi rend="italic">Slenders</hi>seruing
<lb n="1087"/>man, and friend<hi rend="italic">Simple</hi>by your name; which way haue
<lb n="1088"/>you look'd for Master<hi rend="italic">Caius</hi>, that calls himselfe Doctor
<lb n="1089"/>of Phisicke.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sim">
<speaker rend="italic">Sim.</speaker>
<l n="1090">Marry Sir, the pittie‑ward, the Parke‑ward:
<lb/>euery way: olde<hi rend="italic">Windsor</hi>way, and euery way but the
<lb/>Towne‑way.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<p n="1091">I most‑fehemently desire you, you will also
<lb n="1092"/>looke that way.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sim">
<speaker rend="italic">Sim.</speaker>
<l n="1093">I will sir.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<p n="1094">'Plesse my soule: how full of Chollors I am, and
<lb n="1095"/>trempling of minde: I shall be glad if he haue deceiued
<lb n="1096"/>me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls a
<lb n="1097"/>bout his knaues costard, when I haue good opportunities
<lb n="1098"/>for the orke: 'Plesse my soule:<hi rend="italic">To shallow Riuers to whose
<lb n="1099"/>falls: melodious Birds sings Madrigalls: There will we make
<lb n="1100"/>our Peds of Roses: and a thousand fragrant posies. To shal
<lb n="1101"/>low</hi>: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great dispositions to cry.<cb n="2"/>
<lb n="1102"/>
<hi rend="italic">Melodious birds sing Madrigalls: —When as I sat in Pa
<lb n="1103"/>bilon: and a thousand vagram Posies. To shallow, &c.</hi>
</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sim">
<speaker rend="italic">Sim.</speaker>
<l n="1104">Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1105">Hee's welcome:<hi rend="italic">To shallow Riuers, to whose fals</hi>:</l>
<l n="1106">Heauen prosper the right: what weapons is he?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sim">
<speaker rend="italic">Sim.</speaker>
<l n="1107">No weapons, Sir: there comes my Master, M<c rend="superscript">r</c>.
<lb/>
<hi rend="italic">Shallow</hi>, and another Gentleman; from<hi rend="italic">Frogmore</hi>, ouer
<lb/>the stile, this way.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1108">Pray you giue mee my gowne, or else keepe it
<lb/>in your armes.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1109">How now Master Parson? good morrow good
<lb/>Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>: keepe a Gamester from the dice, and a good
<lb/>Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sle">
<speaker rend="italic">Slen.</speaker>
<l n="1110">Ah sweet<hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1111">'Saue you, good Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1112">'Plesse you from his mercy‑sake, all of you.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1113">What? the Sword, and the Word?</l>
<l n="1114">Doe you study them both, M<c rend="italic">r</c>. Parson?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1115">And youthfull still, in your doublet and hose,
<lb/>this raw‑rumaticke day?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1116">There is reasons, and causes for it.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1117">We are come to you, to doe a good office, M<c rend="italic">r</c>.
<lb/>Parson.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1118">Fery‑well: what is it?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<p n="1119">Yonder is a most reuerend Gentleman; who
<lb n="1120"/>(be‑like) hauing receiued wrong by some person, is at
<lb n="1121"/>most odds with his owne grauity and patience, that euer
<lb n="1122"/>you saw.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<p n="1123">I haue liued foure‑score yeeres, and vpward: I
<lb n="1124"/>neuer heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, so
<lb n="1125"/>wide of his owne respect.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1126">What is he?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<p n="1127">I thinke you know him: M<c rend="superscript">r</c>. Doctor<hi rend="italic">Caius</hi>the
<lb n="1128"/>renowned French Physician.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<p n="1129">Got's‑will, and his passion of my heart: I had
<lb n="1130"/>as lief you would tell me of a messe of porredge.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1131">Why?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1132">He has no more knowledge in<hi rend="italic">Hibocrates</hi>and
<lb/>
<hi rend="italic">Galen</hi>, and hee is a knaue besides: a cowardly knaue, as
<lb/>you would desires to be acquainted withall.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1133">I warrant you, hee's the man should fight with
<lb/>him.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sle">
<speaker rend="italic">Slen.</speaker>
<l n="1134">O sweet<hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1135">It appeares so by his weapons: keepe them a
<lb/>sunder: here comes Doctor<hi rend="italic">Caius</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1136">Nay good M<c rend="italic">r</c>. Parson, keepe in your weapon.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1137">So doe you, good M<c rend="superscript">r</c>. Doctor.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
<speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
<l n="1138">Disarme them, and let them question: let them
<lb/>keepe their limbs whole, and hack our English.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<p n="1139">I pray you let‑a‑mee speake a word with your
<lb n="1140"/>eare; vherefore vill you not meet‑a me?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1141">Pray you vse your patience in good time.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<l n="1142">By‑gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn
<lb/>Ape.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<p n="1143">Pray you let vs not be laughing‑stocks to other
<lb n="1144"/>mens humors: I desire you in friendship, and I will one
<lb n="1145"/>way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal
<lb n="1146"/>about your knaues Cogs‑combe.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<p n="1147">
<hi rend="italic">Diable: Iack Rugby</hi>: mine<hi rend="italic">Host de Iarteer</hi>: haue I
<lb n="1148"/>not stay for him, to kill him? haue I not at de place I did
<lb n="1149"/>appoint?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<l n="1150">As I am a Christians‑soule, now looke you:
<lb/>this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine
<lb/>
<hi rend="italic">Host of the Garter</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
<speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
<l n="1151">Peace, I say,<hi rend="italic">Gallia</hi>and<hi rend="italic">Gaule</hi>,<hi rend="italic">French & Welch</hi>,
<lb/>Soule‑Curer, and Body‑Curer.</l>
</sp>
<pb facs="FFimg:axc0069-0.jpg" n="49"/>
<cb n="1"/>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<l n="1152">I, dat is very good, excellant.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
<speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
<l n="1153">Peace, I say: heare mine Host of the Garter,</l>
<l n="1154">Am I politicke? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiuell?</l>
<p n="1155">Shall I loose my Doctor? No, hee giues me the Potions
<lb n="1156"/>and the Motions. Shall I loose my Parson? my Priest?
<lb n="1157"/>my Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>? No, he giues me the Prouerbes, and the
<lb n="1158"/>No‑verbes. Giue me thy hand (Celestiall) so: Boyes of
<lb n="1159"/>Art, I haue deceiu'd you both: I haue directed you to
<lb n="1160"/>wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skinnes are
<lb n="1161"/>whole, and let burn'd Sacke be the issue: Come, lay their
<lb n="1162"/>swords to pawne: Follow me, Lad of peace, follow, fol
<lb n="1163"/>low, follow.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1164">Trust me, a mad Host: follow Gentlemen, fol
<lb/>low.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sle">
<speaker rend="italic">Slen.</speaker>
<l n="1165">O sweet<hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<l n="1166">Ha' do I perceiue dat? Haue you make‑a‑de‑sot
<lb/>of vs, ha, ha?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Eua.</speaker>
<p n="1167">This is well, he has made vs his vlowting‑stog:
<lb n="1168"/>I desire you that we may be friends: and let vs knog our
<lb n="1169"/>praines together to be reuenge on this same scall‑scur
<lb n="1170"/>uy‑cogging‑companion the Host of the Garter.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
<speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
<p n="1171">By gar, with all my heart: he promise to bring
<lb n="1172"/>me where is<hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>: by gar he deceiue me too.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euan.</speaker>
<p n="1173">Well, I will smite his noddles: pray you follow.</p>
</sp>
</div>