The Bodleian First Folio

I sir, very well.

Nay, I beseech you marke it well.

Well, I doe so.

Doth your honor see any harme in his face?

Why no.

Ile be supposd vpon a booke, his face is the worst

thing about him: good then: if his face be the worst

thing about him, how could Master Froth doe the Con­

stables wife any harme? I would know that of your

honour.

He's in the right (Constable) what say you to it?

First, and it like you, the house is a respected

house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his Mistris is

a respected woman.

By this hand Sir, his wife is a more respected per­

son then any of vs all.

Varlet, thou lyest; thou lyest wicked varlet: the

time is yet to come that shee was euer respected with

man, woman, or childe.

Sir, she was respected with him, before he mar­

ried with her.

Which is the wiser here; Iustice or Iniquitie? Is

this true?

O thou caytiffe: O thou varlet: O thou wick­

ed Hanniball; I respected with her, before I was married

to her? If euer I was respected with her, or she with me,

let not your worship thinke mee the poore Dukes Offi­

cer: proue this, thou wicked Hanniball, or ile haue

mine action of battry on thee.

If he tooke you a box o'th' eare, you might haue

your action of slander too.

Marry I thanke your good worship for it: what

is't your Worships pleasure I shall doe with this wick­

ed Caitiffe?

Truly Officer, because he hath some offences in

him, that thou wouldst discouer, if thou couldst, let him

continue in his courses, till thou knowst what they are.

Marry I thanke your worship for it: Thou seest

thou wicked varlet now, what's come vpon thee. Thou

art to continue now thou Varlet, thou art to continue.

Where were you borne, friend?

Here in Vienna, Sir.

Are you of fourescore pounds a yeere?

Yes, and't please you sir.

So: what trade are you of, sir?

A Tapster, a poore widdowes Tapster.

Your Mistris name?

Mistris Ouer‑don.

Hath she had any more then one husband?

Nine, sir: Ouerߛdon by the last.

Nine? come hether to me, Master Froth; Master

Froth, I would not haue you acquainted with Tapsters;

they will draw you Master Froth, and you wil hang them:

get you gon, and let me heare no more of you.

I thanke your worship: for mine owne part, I

neuer come into any roome in a Tapߛhouse, but I am

drawne in.

Well: no more of it Master Froth: farewell:

Come you hether to me, M r. Tapster: what's your

name M r. Tapster?

Pompey.

What else?

Bum, Sir.

Troth, and your bum is the greatest thing about

you, so that in the beastliest sence, you are Pompey the

great; Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey; howso­

euer you colour it in being a Tapster, are you not? come,

tell me true, it shall be the better for you.

Truly sir, I am a poore fellow that would liue.

How would you liue Pompey? by being a bawd?

what doe you thinke of the trade Pompey? is it a lawfull

trade?

If the Law would allow it, sir.

But the Law will not allow it Pompey; nor it shall

not be allowed in Uienna.

Do's your Worship meane to geld and splay all

the youth of the City?

No, Pompey.

Truely Sir, in my poore opinion they will too't

then: if your worship will take order for the drabs and

the knaues, you need not to feare the bawds.

There is pretty orders beginning I can tell you:

It is but heading, and hanging.

If you head, and hang all that offend that way

but for ten yeare together; you'll be glad to giue out a

Commission for more heads: if this law hold in Vienna

ten yeare, ile rent the fairest house in it after three pence

a Bay: if you liue to see this come to passe, say Pompey

told you so.

Thanke you good Pompey; and in requitall of

your prophesie, harke you: I aduise you let me not finde

you before me againe vpon any complaint whatsoeuer;

no, not for dwelling where you doe: if I doe Pompey, I

shall beat you to your Tent, and proue a shrewd Cæsar

to you: in plaine dealing Pompey, I shall haue you whipt;

so for this time, Pompey, fare you well.

I thanke your Worship for your good counsell;

but I shall follow it as the flesh and fortune shall better

determine. Whip me? no, no, let Carman whip his Iade,

The valiant heart's not whipt out of his trade.

Come hether to me, Master Elbow: come hither

Master Constable: how long haue you bin in this place

of Constable?

Seuen yeere, and a halfe sir.

I thought by the readinesse in the office, you had

continued in it some time: you say seauen yeares toge­

ther.

And a halfe sir.

Alas, it hath beene great paines to you: they do

you wrong to put you so oft vpon't. Are there not men

in your Ward sufficient to serue it?

'Faith sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they

are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I do it

for some peece of money, and goe through with all.

Looke you bring mee in the names of some sixe

or seuen, the most sufficient of your parish.

To your Worships house sir?

To my house: fare you well: what's a clocke,

thinke you?

Eleuen, Sir.

I pray you home to dinner with me.

I humbly thanke you.