The Bodleian First Folio

Bardolph, get thee before to Couentry, fill me a

Bottle of Sack, our Souldiers shall march through: wee'le

to Sutton‑cop‑hill to Night.

Will you giue me Money, Captaine?

Lay out, lay out.

This Bottle makes an Angell.

And if it doe, take it for thy labour: and if it

make twentie, take them all, Ile answere the Coynage.

Bid my Lieutenant Peto meete me at the Townes end.

I will Captaine: farewell.

If I be not asham'd of my Souldiers, I am a

sowc't‑Gurnet: I haue mis‑vs'd the Kings Presse dam­

nably. I haue got, in exchange of a hundred and fiftie

Souldiers, three hundred and odde Pounds. I presse me

none but good House‑holders, Yeomens Sonnes: enquire

me out contracted Batchelers, such as had beene ask'd

twice on the Banes: such a Commoditie of warme slaues,

as had as lieue heare the Deuill, as a Drumme; such as

feare the report of a Caliuer, worse then a struck‑Foole,

or a hurt wilde‑Ducke. I prest me none but such Tostes

and Butter, with Hearts in their Bellyes no bigger then

Pinnes heads, and they haue bought out their seruices:

And now, my whole Charge consists of Ancients, Cor­

porals, Lieutenants, Gentlemen of Companies, Slaues as

ragged as Lazarus in the painted Cloth, where the Glut­

tons Dogges licked his Sores; and such, as indeed were

neuer Souldiers, but dis‑carded vniust Seruingmen, youn­

ger Sonnes to younger Brothers, reuolted Tapsters and

Ostlers, Trade‑falne, the Cankers of a calme World, and

long Peace, tenne times more dis‑honorable ragged, then

an old‑fac'd Ancient; and such haue I to fill vp the

roomes of them that haue bought out their seruices: that

you would thinke, that I had a hundred and fiftie totter'd

Prodigalls, lately come from Swine‑keeping, from eating

Draffe and Huskes. A mad fellow met me on the way,

and told me, I had vnloaded all the Gibbets, and prest the

dead bodyes. No eye hath seene such skar‑Crowes: Ile

not march through Couentry with them, that's flat. Nay,

and the Villaines march wide betwixt the Legges, as if

they had Gyues on; for indeede, I had the most of them

out of Prison. There's not a Shirt and a halfe in all my

Company: and the halfe Shirt is two Napkins tackt to­

gether, and throwne ouer the shoulders like a Heralds

Coat, without sleeues: and the Shirt, to say the truth,

stolne from my Host of S. Saint Albones, or the Red‑Nose

Inne‑keeper of Dauintry. But that's all one, they'le finde

Linnen enough on euery Hedge.

How now blowne Iack? how now Quilt?

What Hal? How now mad Wag, what a Deuill

do'st thou in Warwickshire? My good Lord of West­

merland, I cry you mercy, I thought your Honour had al­

ready beene at Shrewsbury.

'Faith, Sir Iohn,'tis more then time that I were

there, and you too: but my Powers are there alreadie.

The King, I can tell you, lookes for vs all: we must away

all to Night.

Tut, neuer fear me, I am as vigilant as a Cat, to

steale Creame.

I thinke to steale Creame indeed, for thy theft

hath alreadie made thee Butter: but tell me, Iack, whose

fellowes are these that come after?

Mine, Hal, mine.

I did neuer see such pittifull Rascals.

Tut, tut, good enough to tosse: foode for Pow­

der, foode for Powder: they'le fill a Pit, as well as better:

tush man; mortall men, mortall men.

I, but Sir Iohn, me thinkes they are exceeding

poore and bare, too beggarly.

Faith, for their pouertie, I know not where they

had that; and for their barenesse, I am sure they neuer

learn'd that of me.

No, Ile be sworne, vnlesse you call three fingers

on the Ribbes bare. But sirra, make haste, Percy is already

in the field.

What, is the King encamp'd?

Hee is, Sir Iohn, I feare wee shall stay too

long.

Well, to the latter end of a Fray, and the begin­

ning of a Feast, fits a dull fighter, and a keene Guest.