Grand‑mother: this proues that thou canst not
read.
Sp.
Come fool, come: try me in thy paper.
La.
There: and S.
Nicholas be thy speed.
Sp.
Inprimis she can milke.
La.
[1335]
I that she can.
Sp.
Item, she brews good Ale.
La.
And thereof comes the prouerbe: (
Blessing of
your heart, you brew good Ale
.)
Sp.
Item, she can sowe.
La.
[1340]
That's as much as to say (
Can she so?)
Sp.
Item she can knit.
La.What neede a man care for a stock with a wench,When she can knit him a stock?Sp.
Item, she can wash and scoure.
La.
[1345]
A speciall vertue: for then shee need not be
wash'd,
and scowr'd.
Sp.
Item, she can spin.
La.
Then may I set the world on wheeles, when she
can spin for
her liuing.
Sp.
[1350]
Item, she hath many namelesse vertues.
La.
That's as much as to say
Bastard‑vertues:
that
indeede know not their fathers; and therefore haue no
names.
Sp.
Here follow her vices.
La.
[1355]
Close at the heels of her vertues.
Sp.
Item, shee is not to be fasting, in respect of her
breath.
La.
Well: that fault may be mended with a break
fast:
read on.
Sp.
[1360]
Item, she hath a sweet mouth.
La.
That makes amends for her soure breath.
Sp.
Item, she doth talke in her sleepe.
La.
It's no matter for that; so shee sleepe not in her
talke.
Sp.
[1365]
Item, she is slow in words.
La.Oh villaine, that set this downe among her vices;To be slow in words, is a womans onely vertue.I pray thee, out with't, and place it for her chiefe
vertue.
Sp.
Item, she is proud.
La.
[1370]
Out with that too:It was
Eues legacie, and cannot be
t'ane from her.
Sp.
Item, she hath no teeth.
La.
I care not for that neither: because I loue crusts.
Sp.
Item, she is curst.
La.
[1375]
Well: the best is, she hath no teeth to bite.
Sp.
Item, she will often praise her liquor.
La.If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not,I will; for good things should be praised.Sp.
Item, she is too liberall.
La.
[1380]
Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ downe
she
is slow of: of her purse, shee shall not, for that ile
keepe shut: Now, of another thing shee may, and that
cannot I helpe. Well, proceede.
Sp.
Item, shee hath more haire than wit, and more
[1385]
faults then
haires, and more wealth then faults.
La.
Stop there: Ile haue her: she was mine, and not
mine, twice
or thrice in that last Article: rehearse that
once
more.
Sp.
Item, she hath more haire then wit.
La.
[1390]
More haire then wit: it may be ile proue it: The
couer of
the salt, hides the salt, and therefore it is more
then
the salt; the haire that couers the wit, is more
then the
wit; for the greater hides the lesse: What's
Well, ile haue
her: and if it be a match, as nothing is
[1400]
impossible.
Sp.
What then?
La.
Why then, will I tell thee, that thy Master staies
for thee at the
North gate.
Sp.
For me?
La.
[1405]
For thee? I, who art thou? he hath staid for a
bet
ter man than thee.
Sp.
And must I goe to him?
La.
Thou must run to him; for thou hast staid so
long,
that going will scarce serue the turne.
Sp.
[1410]
Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your loue
Letters.
La.
Now will he be swing'd for reading my Letter;
An vnmannerly slaue, that will thrust himselfe into
se
crets:
Ile after, to reioyce in the boyes
correctiō
correction.
Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 3, Scene 2]
Enter Duke,
Thurio, Protheus.
Du.
[1415]
Sir
Thurio, feare not, but that she will
loue you
Now
Valentine is banish'd from her
sight.
Th.Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,Forsworne my company and rail'd at me,That I am desperate of obtaining her.Du.
[1420]
This weake impresse of Loue, is as a figureTrenched in ice, which with an houres heateDissolues to water, and doth loose his forme.A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,And worthlesse
Valentine shall be forgot.
[1425]
How now sir
Protheus, is your
countriman
(According to our Proclamation) gon?Pro.
Gon, my good Lord.
Du.
My daughter takes his going grieuously?
Pro.
A little time (my Lord) will kill that griefe.
Du.
[1430]
So I beleeue: but
Thurio thinkes not so:
Protheus, the good conceit I hold of
thee,
(For thou hast showne some signe of good desert)Makes me the better to confer with thee.Pro.Longer than I proue loyall to your Grace,
[1435]
Let me not live, to looke vpon your Grace.Du.Thou know'st how willingly, I would
effect
The match betweene sir
Thurio, and my
daughter.
Pro.
I doe my Lord.
Du.And also, I thinke, thou art not ignorant
[1440]
How she opposes her against my will?Pro.
She did my Lord, when
Ualentine was
here.
Du.I, and peruersly, she perseuers so:What might we doe to make the girle forgetThe loue of
Valentine, and loue sir
Thurio?
Pro.
[1445]
The best way is, to slander
Ualentine,
With falsehood, cowardize, and poore discent:Three things, that women highly hold in hate.Du.
I, but she'll thinke that it is spoke in hate.
Pro.I, if his enemy deliuer it.
[1450]
Therefore it must with circumstance be spokenBy one, whom she esteemeth as his friend.Du.Then you must vndertake to slander him.Pro.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 3, Scene 2]
Enter Duke,
Thurio, Protheus.
Du.
[1415]
Sir
Thurio, feare not, but that she will
loue you
Now
Valentine is banish'd from her
sight.
Th.Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,Forsworne my company and rail'd at me,That I am desperate of obtaining her.Du.
[1420]
This weake impresse of Loue, is as a figureTrenched in ice, which with an houres heateDissolues to water, and doth loose his forme.A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,And worthlesse
Valentine shall be forgot.
[1425]
How now sir
Protheus, is your
countriman
(According to our Proclamation) gon?Pro.
Gon, my good Lord.
Du.
My daughter takes his going grieuously?
Pro.
A little time (my Lord) will kill that griefe.
Du.
[1430]
So I beleeue: but
Thurio thinkes not so:
Protheus, the good conceit I hold of
thee,
(For thou hast showne some signe of good desert)Makes me the better to confer with thee.Pro.Longer than I proue loyall to your Grace,
[1435]
Let me not live, to looke vpon your Grace.Du.Thou know'st how willingly, I would
effect
The match betweene sir
Thurio, and my
daughter.
Pro.
I doe my Lord.
Du.And also, I thinke, thou art not ignorant
[1440]
How she opposes her against my will?Pro.
She did my Lord, when
Ualentine was
here.
Du.I, and peruersly, she perseuers so:What might we doe to make the girle forgetThe loue of
Valentine, and loue sir
Thurio?
Pro.
[1445]
The best way is, to slander
Ualentine,
With falsehood, cowardize, and poore discent:Three things, that women highly hold in hate.Du.
I, but she'll thinke that it is spoke in hate.
Pro.I, if his enemy deliuer it.
[1450]
Therefore it must with circumstance be spokenBy one, whom she esteemeth as his friend.Du.Then you must vndertake to slander him.Pro.And that (my Lord) I shall be loath to doe:'Tis an ill office for a Gentleman,
[1455]
Especially against his very friend.Du.Where your good word cannot aduantage him,Your slander neuer can endamage him;Therefore the office is indifferent,Being entreated to it by your friend.Pro.
[1460]
You haue preuail'd (my Lord) if I can doe itBy ought that I can speake in his dispraise,She shall not long continue loue to him:But say this weede her loue from
Valentine,
It followes not that she will loue sir
Thurio.
Th.
[1465]
Therefore, as you vnwind her loue from him;Least it should rauell, and be good to none,You must prouide to bottome it on me:Which must be done, by praising me as muchAs you, in worth dispraise, sir
Ualentine.
Du.
[1470]
And
Protheus, we dare trust you in
this kinde,
Because we know (on
Valentines report)
You are already Loues firme votary,And cannot soone reuolt, and change your minde.Vpon this warrant, shall you haue accesse
[1475]
Where you, with
Siluia, may conferre at
large.
For she is lumpish, heauy, mellancholly,And (for your friends sake) will be glad of you;Where you may temper her, by your perswasion,To hate yong
Ualentine, and loue my
friend.
Pro.
[1480]
As much as I can doe, I will effect:But you sir
Thurio, are not sharpe
enough:
You must lay Lime, to tangle her desiresBy walefull Sonnets, whose composed RimesShould be full fraught with seruiceable vowes.Du.
[1485]
I, much is the force of heauen‑bred Poesie.
Pro.Say that vpon the altar of her beautyYou sacrifice your teares, your sighes, your heart:Write till your inke be dry; and with your tearesMoist it againe, and frame some feeling line,
[1490]
That may discouer such integrity:For
Orpheus Lute, was strung with
Poets sinewes,
Whose golden touch could soften steele and
stones,
Make Tygers tame, and huge
LeuiathansForsake vnsounded deepes, to dance on Sands.
[1495]
After your dire‑lamenting Elegies,Visit by night your Ladies chamber‑windowWith some sweet Consort; To their InstrumentsTune a deploring dumpe: the nights dead silenceWill well become such sweet complaining grieuance:
[1500]
This, or else nothing, will inherit her.Du.
This discipline, showes thou hast bin in loue.
Th.And thy aduice, this night, ile put in practice:Therefore, sweet
Protheus, my
direction‑giuer,
Let vs into the City presently
[1505]
To sort some Gentlemen, well skil'd in Musicke.I haue a Sonnet, that will serue the turneTo giue the on‑set to thy good aduice.Du.
About it Gentlemen.
Pro.We'll wait vpon your Grace, till after Supper,
[1510]
And afterward determine our proceedings.Du.Euen now about it, I will pardon you.Exeunt.
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<div type="scene" n="2">
<head rend="italic center">Scena Secunda.</head>
<head type="supplied">[Act 3, Scene 2]</head>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Duke, Thurio, Protheus.</stage>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1415">Sir<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>, feare not, but that she will loue you</l>
<l n="1416">Now<hi rend="italic">Valentine</hi>is banish'd from her sight.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-thu">
<speaker rend="italic">Th.</speaker>
<l n="1417">Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,</l>
<l n="1418">Forsworne my company and rail'd at me,</l>
<l n="1419">That I am desperate of obtaining her.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1420">This weake impresse of Loue, is as a figure</l>
<l n="1421">Trenched in ice, which with an houres heate</l>
<l n="1422">Dissolues to water, and doth loose his forme.</l>
<l n="1423">A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,</l>
<l n="1424">And worthlesse<hi rend="italic">Valentine</hi>shall be forgot.</l>
<l n="1425">How now sir<hi rend="italic">Protheus</hi>, is your countriman</l>
<l n="1426">(According to our Proclamation) gon?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<p n="1427">Gon, my good Lord.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<p n="1428">My daughter takes his going grieuously?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<p n="1429">A little time (my Lord) will kill that griefe.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1430">So I beleeue: but<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>thinkes not so:</l>
<l n="1431">
<hi rend="italic">Protheus</hi>, the good conceit I hold of thee,</l>
<l n="1432">(For thou hast showne some signe of good desert)</l>
<l n="1433">Makes me the better to confer with thee.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1434">Longer than I proue loyall to your Grace,</l>
<l n="1435">Let me not live, to looke vpon your Grace.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1436">Thou know'st how willingly, I would effect</l>
<l n="1437">The match betweene sir<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>, and my daughter.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<p n="1438">I doe my Lord.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1439">And also, I thinke, thou art not ignorant</l>
<l n="1440">How she opposes her against my will?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<p n="1441">She did my Lord, when<hi rend="italic">Ualentine</hi>was here.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1442">I, and peruersly, she perseuers so:</l>
<l n="1443">What might we doe to make the girle forget</l>
<l n="1444">The loue of<hi rend="italic">Valentine</hi>, and loue sir<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1445">The best way is, to slander<hi rend="italic">Ualentine</hi>,</l>
<l n="1446">With falsehood, cowardize, and poore discent:</l>
<l n="1447">Three things, that women highly hold in hate.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<p n="1448">I, but she'll thinke that it is spoke in hate.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1449">I, if his enemy deliuer it.</l>
<l n="1450">Therefore it must with circumstance be spoken</l>
<l n="1451">By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1452">Then you must vndertake to slander him.</l>
</sp>
<pb facs="FFimg:axc0052-0.jpg" n="32"/>
<cb n="1"/>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1453">And that (my Lord) I shall be loath to doe:</l>
<l n="1454">'Tis an ill office for a Gentleman,</l>
<l n="1455">Especially against his very friend.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1456">Where your good word cannot aduantage him,</l>
<l n="1457">Your slander neuer can endamage him;</l>
<l n="1458">Therefore the office is indifferent,</l>
<l n="1459">Being entreated to it by your friend.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1460">You haue preuail'd (my Lord) if I can doe it</l>
<l n="1461">By ought that I can speake in his dispraise,</l>
<l n="1462">She shall not long continue loue to him:</l>
<l n="1463">But say this weede her loue from<hi rend="italic">Valentine</hi>,</l>
<l n="1464">It followes not that she will loue sir<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-thu">
<speaker rend="italic">Th.</speaker>
<l n="1465">Therefore, as you vnwind her loue from him;</l>
<l n="1466">Least it should rauell, and be good to none,</l>
<l n="1467">You must prouide to bottome it on me:</l>
<l n="1468">Which must be done, by praising me as much</l>
<l n="1469">As you, in worth dispraise, sir<hi rend="italic">Ualentine</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1470">And<hi rend="italic">Protheus</hi>, we dare trust you in this kinde,</l>
<l n="1471">Because we know (on<hi rend="italic">Valentines</hi>report)</l>
<l n="1472">You are already Loues firme votary,</l>
<l n="1473">And cannot soone reuolt, and change your minde.</l>
<l n="1474">Vpon this warrant, shall you haue accesse</l>
<l n="1475">Where you, with<hi rend="italic">Siluia</hi>, may conferre at large.</l>
<l n="1476">For she is lumpish, heauy, mellancholly,</l>
<l n="1477">And (for your friends sake) will be glad of you;</l>
<l n="1478">Where you may temper her, by your perswasion,</l>
<l n="1479">To hate yong<hi rend="italic">Ualentine</hi>, and loue my friend.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1480">As much as I can doe, I will effect:</l>
<l n="1481">But you sir<hi rend="italic">Thurio</hi>, are not sharpe enough:</l>
<l n="1482">You must lay Lime, to tangle her desires</l>
<l n="1483">By walefull Sonnets, whose composed Rimes</l>
<l n="1484">Should be full fraught with seruiceable vowes.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<p n="1485">I, much is the force of heauen‑bred Poesie.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1486">Say that vpon the altar of her beauty</l>
<l n="1487">You sacrifice your teares, your sighes, your heart:</l>
<l n="1488">Write till your inke be dry; and with your teares</l>
<l n="1489">Moist it againe, and frame some feeling line,</l>
<l n="1490">That may discouer such integrity:</l>
<l n="1491">For<hi rend="italic">Orpheus</hi>Lute, was strung with Poets sinewes,</l>
<l n="1492">Whose golden touch could soften steele and stones,</l>
<l n="1493">Make Tygers tame, and huge<hi rend="italic">Leuiathans</hi>
</l>
<l n="1494">Forsake vnsounded deepes, to dance on Sands.</l>
<l n="1495">After your dire‑lamenting Elegies,</l>
<l n="1496">Visit by night your Ladies chamber‑window</l>
<l n="1497">With some sweet Consort; To their Instruments</l>
<l n="1498">Tune a deploring dumpe: the nights dead silence</l>
<l n="1499">Will well become such sweet complaining grieuance:</l>
<l n="1500">This, or else nothing, will inherit her.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<p n="1501">This discipline, showes thou hast bin in loue.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-thu">
<speaker rend="italic">Th.</speaker>
<l n="1502">And thy aduice, this night, ile put in practice:</l>
<l n="1503">Therefore, sweet<hi rend="italic">Protheus</hi>, my direction‑giuer,</l>
<l n="1504">Let vs into the City presently</l>
<l n="1505">To sort some Gentlemen, well skil'd in Musicke.</l>
<l n="1506">I haue a Sonnet, that will serue the turne</l>
<l n="1507">To giue the on‑set to thy good aduice.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<p n="1508">About it Gentlemen.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-pro">
<speaker rend="italic">Pro.</speaker>
<l n="1509">We'll wait vpon your Grace, till after Supper,</l>
<l n="1510">And afterward determine our proceedings.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-tgv-duk">
<speaker rend="italic">Du.</speaker>
<l n="1511">Euen now about it, I will pardon you.</l>
</sp>
<stage rend="italic rightJustified" type="exit">Exeunt.</stage>
</div>