The Bodleian First Folio

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Reference: D6r - Comedies, p. 47

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The Merry Wiues of Windsor.

giue me so much of your time in enchange of it, as to lay

an amiable siege to the honesty of this Fords wife: vse

your Art of wooing; win her to consent to you: if any

man may, you may as soone as any.

 Fal.
[940]

Would it apply well to the vehemency of your

affection that I should win what you would enioy? Me­

thinkes you prescribe to your selfe very preposterously.

Ford.

O, vnderstand my drift: she dwells so securely

on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my soule

[945]

dares not present it selfe: shee is too bright to be look'd

against. Now, could I come to her with any detection

in my hand; my desires had instance and argument to

commend themselues, I could driue her then from the

ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage‑vow,

[950]

and a thousand other her defences, which now are too‑

too strongly embattaild against me: what say you too't,

Sir Iohn?

Fal.

Master Broome, I will first make bold with your

money: next, giue mee your hand: and last, as I am a

[955]

gentleman, you shall, if you will, enioy Fords wife.

Ford. O good Sir. Fal. I say you shall. Ford. Want no money (Sir Iohn) you shall want none. Fal.

Want no Mistresse Ford (Master Broome) you shall

[960]

want none: I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her

owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her assi­

stant, or goe‑betweene, parted from me: I say I shall be

with her betweene ten and eleuen: for at that time the

iealious‑rascally‑knaue her husband will be forth: come

[965]

you to me at night, you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance: do you know Ford Sir? Fal.

Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know

him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They say

the iealous wittolly‑knaue hath masses of money, for

[970]

the which his wife seemes to me well‑fauourd: I will vse

her as the key of the Cuckoldly‑rogues Coffer, & ther's

my haruest‑home.

 Ford.

I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might a­

uoid him, if you saw him.

 Fal.
[975]

Hang him, mechanicall‑salt‑butter rogue; I wil

stare him out of his wits: I will awe‑him with my cud­

gell: it shall hang like a Meteor ore the Cuckolds horns:

Master Broome, thou shalt know, I will predominate o­

uer the pezant, and thou shalt lye with his wife. Come

[980]

to me soone at night: Ford's a knaue, and I will aggra­

uate his stile: thou (Master Broome) shalt know him for

knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me soone at night.

 Ford.

What a damn'd EpicurianߛRascall is this? my

heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who saies this is

[985]

improuident iealousie? my wife hath sent to him, the

howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue

thought this? see the hell of hauing a false woman: my

bed shall be abus'd, my Coffers ransack'd, my reputati­

on gnawne at, and I shall not onely receiue this villainous

[990]

wrong, but stand vnder the adoption of abhominable

termes, and by him that does mee this wrong: Termes,

names: Amaimon sounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbason,

well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends:

But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himselfe

[995]

hath not such a name. Page is an Asse, a secure Asse; hee

will trust his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather

trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welsh­ man with my Cheese, an Irish‑man with my Aqua‑vitæ‑bottle,

or a Theefe to walke my ambling gelding, then

[1000]

my wife with her selfe. Then she plots, then shee rumi­

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[full image]

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nates, then shee deuises: and what they thinke in their

hearts they may effect; they will breake their hearts but

they will effect. Heauen bee prais'd for my iealousie:

eleuen o'clocke the howre, I will preuent this, detect

[1005]

my wife, bee reueng'd on Falstaffe, and laugh at Page. I

will about it, better three houres too soone, then a my­

nute too late: fie, fie, fie: Cuckold, Cuckold, Cuckold.

Exti.
Scena Tertia. [Act 2, Scene 3] Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host. Caius. Iacke Rugby. Rug. Sir. Caius.
[1010]
Vat is the clocke, Iack. Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. Cai.

By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no‑come:

hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no‑come: by gar

( Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.

Rug.
[1015]

Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would

kill him if he came.

Cai.

By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill

him: take your Rapier, ( Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill

kill him.

 Rug.
[1020]
Alas sir, I cannot fence. Cai. Villaine, take your Rapier. Rug. Forbeare: heer's company. Host. 'Blesse thee, bullyߛDoctor. Shal. 'Saue you M r. Doctor Caius. Page.
[1025]
Now good M r. Doctor. Slen. 'Giue you goodߛmorrow, sir. Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for? Host.

To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee

trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee

[1030]

passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy

montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran­

cisco? ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my

heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully‑Stale? is he dead?

Cai.

By gar, he is de Coward‑Iack‑Priest of de vorld:

[1035]

he is not show his face.

 Host. Thou art a Castalion‑king‑Vrinall: Hector of Greece (my Boy) Cai.

I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,

sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no‑

come.

 Shal.
[1040]

He is the wiser man (M.Docto) rhe (M. Doctor) he is a curer of

soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you

goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,

Master Page?

Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Shal.
[1045]

Body‑kins M. Page, though I now be old, and

of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to

make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and

Church‑men (M. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth

in vs, we are the sons of women (M. Page.)

Page.
[1050]

'Tis true, M r. Shallow.

Shal.

It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius,

I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:

you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir

Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Church­

[1055]

man: you must goe with me, M. Doctor.

Host. Par

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Scena Tertia. [Act 2, Scene 3] Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host. Caius. Iacke Rugby. Rug. Sir. Caius.
[1010]
Vat is the clocke, Iack. Rug. 'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. Cai.

By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no‑come:

hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no‑come: by gar

( Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.

Rug.
[1015]

Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would

kill him if he came.

Cai.

By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill

him: take your Rapier, ( Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill

kill him.

 Rug.
[1020]
Alas sir, I cannot fence. Cai. Villaine, take your Rapier. Rug. Forbeare: heer's company. Host. 'Blesse thee, bullyߛDoctor. Shal. 'Saue you M r. Doctor Caius. Page.
[1025]
Now good M r. Doctor. Slen. 'Giue you goodߛmorrow, sir. Caius. Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for? Host.

To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee

trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee

[1030]

passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy

montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran­

cisco? ha Bully? what saies my Esculapius? my Galien? my

heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully‑Stale? is he dead?

Cai.

By gar, he is de Coward‑Iack‑Priest of de vorld:

[1035]

he is not show his face.

 Host. Thou art a Castalion‑king‑Vrinall: Hector of Greece (my Boy) Cai.

I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,

sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no‑

come.

 Shal.
[1040]

He is the wiser man (M.Docto) rhe (M. Doctor) he is a curer of

soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you

goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,

Master Page?

Page. Master Shallow; you haue your selfe beene a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Shal.
[1045]

Body‑kins M. Page, though I now be old, and

of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to

make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and

Church‑men (M. Page) wee haue some salt of our youth

in vs, we are the sons of women (M. Page.)

Page.
[1050]

'Tis true, M r. Shallow.

Shal.

It wil be found so, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius,

I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:

you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir

Hugh hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Church­

[1055]

man: you must goe with me, M. Doctor.

Host. Pardon, Guest‑Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke­ water Cai. Mock‑vater? vat is dat? Host. Mock‑water, in our English tongue, is Valour (Bully.) Cai. By gar, then I haue as much Mock‑vater as de Englishman: scuruy‑Iack‑dog‑Priest: by gar, mee vill cut his eares. Host.
[1060]
He will Clapper‑claw thee tightly (Bully.) Cai. Clapper‑de‑claw? vat is dat? Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Cai. By‐gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper‐de‐claw me, for by‐gar, me vill haue it. Host. And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag. Cai.
[1065]
Me tanck you for dat. Host.

And moreouer, (Bully) but first, M r. Ghuest,

and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through

the Towne to Frogmore.

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? Host.
[1070]
He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well? Shal. We will doe it. All. Adieu, good M. Doctor. Cai. By‑gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a Iack‑an‑Ape to Anne Page . Host.

Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold

[1075]

water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee

through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistris Anne Page is, at a Farm‑house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe

her: Cride‑game, said I well?

Cai.

By‑gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue

[1080]

you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,

de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.

 Host. For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward Anne Page: said I well? Cai. By‑gar, 'tis good: vell said. Host. Let vs wag then. Cai.
[1085]
Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby. Exeunt.
 

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<div type="scene" n="3">
   <head rend="italic center">Scena Tertia.</head>
   <head type="supplied">[Act 2, Scene 3]</head>
   <stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Caius, Rugby, Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.</stage>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Caius.</speaker>
      <l rend="italic" n="1008">Iacke Rugby.</l>
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   <sp who="#F-wiv-rug">
      <speaker rend="italic">Rug.</speaker>
      <l n="1009">Sir.</l>
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   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Caius.</speaker>
      <l n="1010">Vat is the clocke,<hi rend="italic">Iack</hi>.</l>
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   <sp who="#F-wiv-rug">
      <speaker rend="italic">Rug.</speaker>
      <l n="1011">'Tis past the howre (Sir) that Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>promis'd
      <lb/>to meet.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <p n="1012">By gar, he has saue his soule, dat he is no‑come:
      <lb n="1013"/>hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no‑come: by gar
      <lb n="1014"/>(<hi rend="italic">Iack Rugby</hi>) he is dead already, if he be come.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-rug">
      <speaker rend="italic">Rug.</speaker>
      <p n="1015">Hee is wise Sir: hee knew your worship would
      <lb n="1016"/>kill him if he came.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <p n="1017">By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill
      <lb n="1018"/>him: take your Rapier, (<hi rend="italic">Iacke</hi>) I vill tell you how I vill
      <lb n="1019"/>kill him.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-rug">
      <speaker rend="italic">Rug.</speaker>
      <l n="1020">Alas sir, I cannot fence.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1021">Villaine, take your Rapier.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-rug">
      <speaker rend="italic">Rug.</speaker>
      <l n="1022">Forbeare: heer's company.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1023">'Blesse thee, bullyߛDoctor.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
      <speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
      <l n="1024">'Saue you M<c rend="superscript">r</c>. Doctor<hi rend="italic">Caius</hi>.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <l n="1025">Now good M<c rend="superscript">r</c>. Doctor.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sle">
      <speaker rend="italic">Slen.</speaker>
      <l n="1026">'Giue you goodߛmorrow, sir.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Caius.</speaker>
      <l n="1027">Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <p n="1028">To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to see thee
      <lb n="1029"/>trauerse, to see thee heere, to see thee there, to see thee
      <lb n="1030"/>passe thy puncto, thy stock, thy reuerse, thy distance, thy
      <lb n="1031"/>montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Fran­
      <lb n="1032"/>cisco? ha Bully? what saies my<hi rend="italic">Esculapius</hi>? my<hi rend="italic">Galien</hi>? my
      <lb n="1033"/>heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully‑Stale? is he dead?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <p n="1034">By gar, he is de Coward‑Iack‑Priest of de vorld:
      <lb n="1035"/>he is not show his face.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1036">Thou art a Castalion‑king‑Vrinall:<hi rend="italic">Hector</hi>of
      <lb/>
         <hi rend="italic">Greece</hi>(my Boy)</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <p n="1037">I pray you beare witnesse, that me haue stay,
      <lb n="1038"/>sixe or seuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no‑
      <lb n="1039"/>come.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
      <speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
      <p n="1040">He is the wiser man<choice>
            <orig>(M.Docto) rhe</orig>
            <corr>(M. Doctor) he</corr>
         </choice>is a curer of
      <lb n="1041"/>soules, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you
      <lb n="1042"/>goe against the haire of your professions: is it not true,
      <lb n="1043"/>Master<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <l n="1044">Master<hi rend="italic">Shallow</hi>; you haue your selfe beene a
      <lb/>great fighter, though now a man of peace.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
      <speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
      <p n="1045">Body‑kins M.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>, though I now be old, and
      <lb n="1046"/>of the peace; if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
      <lb n="1047"/>make one: though wee are Iustices, and Doctors, and
      <lb n="1048"/>Church‑men (M.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>) wee haue some salt of our youth
      <lb n="1049"/>in vs, we are the sons of women (M.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>.)</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <p n="1050">'Tis true, M<c rend="italic">r</c>.<hi rend="italic">Shallow</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
      <speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
      <p n="1051">It wil be found so, (M.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>:) M. Doctor<hi rend="italic">Caius</hi>,
      <lb n="1052"/>I am come to fetch you home: I am sworn of the peace:
      <lb n="1053"/>you haue show'd your selfe a wise Physician, and Sir
      <lb n="1054"/>
         <hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>hath showne himselfe a wise and patient Church­
      <lb n="1055"/>man: you must goe with me, M. Doctor.</p>
   </sp>
   <pb facs="FFimg:axc0068-0.jpg" n="48"/>
   <cb n="1"/>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1056">Pardon, Guest‑Iustice; a Mounseur Mocke­
      <lb/>water</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1057">Mock‑vater? vat is dat?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1058">Mock‑water, in our English tongue, is Valour
      <lb/>(Bully.)</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1059">By gar, then I haue as much Mock‑vater as de
      <lb/>Englishman: scuruy‑Iack‑dog‑Priest: by gar, mee vill
      <lb/>cut his eares.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1060">He will Clapper‑claw thee tightly (Bully.)</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1061">Clapper‑de‑claw? vat is dat?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1062">That is, he will make thee amends.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1063">By‐gar, me doe looke hee shall clapper‐de‐claw
      <lb/>me, for by‐gar, me vill haue it.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1064">And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1065">Me tanck you for dat.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <p n="1066">And moreouer, (Bully) but first, M<c rend="italic">r</c>. Ghuest,
      <lb n="1067"/>and M.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>, &amp; eeke Caualeiro<hi rend="italic">Slender</hi>, goe you through
      <lb n="1068"/>the Towne to<hi rend="italic">Frogmore</hi>.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
      <speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
      <l n="1069">Sir<hi rend="italic">Hugh</hi>is there, is he?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1070">He is there, see what humor he is in: and I will
      <lb/>bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
      <speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
      <l n="1071">We will doe it.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-all">
      <speaker rend="italic">All.</speaker>
      <l n="1072">Adieu, good M. Doctor.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1073">By‑gar, me vill kill de Priest, for he speake for a
      <lb/>Iack‑an‑Ape to<hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <p n="1074">Let him die: sheath thy impatience: throw cold
      <lb n="1075"/>water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee
      <lb n="1076"/>through<hi rend="italic">Frogmore</hi>, I will bring thee where Mistris<hi rend="italic">Anne
      <lb n="1077"/>Page</hi>is, at a Farm‑house a Feasting: and thou shalt wooe
      <lb n="1078"/>her: Cride‑game, said I well?</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <p n="1079">By‑gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue
      <lb n="1080"/>you: and I shall procure 'a you de good Guest: de Earle,
      <lb n="1081"/>de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.</p>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1082">For the which, I will be thy aduersary toward
      <lb/>
         <hi rend="italic">Anne Page</hi>: said I well?</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1083">By‑gar, 'tis good: vell said.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-hos">
      <speaker rend="italic">Host.</speaker>
      <l n="1084">Let vs wag then.</l>
   </sp>
   <sp who="#F-wiv-cai">
      <speaker rend="italic">Cai.</speaker>
      <l n="1085">Come at my heeles,<hi rend="italic">Iack Rugby</hi>.</l>
   </sp>
   <stage rend="italic rightJustified" type="exit">Exeunt.</stage>
</div>

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