Yes: a Buck‑basket: ram'd mee in with foule
Shirts and Smockes, Socks, foule Stockings, greasie
Napkins, that (Master
Broome) there
was the rankest
compound of villanous smell, that euer offended no
strill.
Nay, you shall heare (Master
Broome)
what I
hau
good: Being thus cram'd in the Basket, a couple of
Fords knaues, his Hindes,
were cald forth by their Mi
stris, to carry mee in the name of foule Cloathes to
Datchet‑lane: they tooke me on their shoulders: met
the iealous knaue their Master in the doore; who
ask'd them once or twice what they had in their Bas
ket? I quak'd for feare least the Lunatique Knaue
would haue search'd it: but Fate (ordaining he should
be a Cuckold) held his hand: well, on went hee, for
a search, and away went I for foule Cloathes: But
marke the sequell (Master
Broome) I suffered the pangs
of three seuerall deaths: First, an intollerable fright,
to be detected with a iealious rotten Bell‑weather:
Next to be compass'd like a good Bilbo in the circum
ference of a Pecke, hilt to point, heele to head. And
then to be stopt in like a strong distillation with stink
ing Cloathes, that fretted in their owne grease:
thinke of that, a man of my Kidney; thinke of that,
that am as subiect to heate as butter; a man of conti
nuall dissolution, and thaw: it was a miracle to scape
suffocation. And in the height of this Bath (when I
was more then halfe stew'd in grease (like a Dutch‑
dish) to be throwne into the Thames, and
coold, glowing‑hot, in that serge like a Horse
shoo; thinke of that; hissing hot: thinke of that (Master
Broome.)
you haue sufferd all this.
more?
Master
Broome: I will be throwne
into
Etna,
as I haue beene into Thames, ere I will leaue her thus;
her Husband is this morning gone a Birding: I
haue receiued from her another ambassie of mee
ting: 'twixt eight and nine is the houre (Master
Broome.)
Is it? I will then addresse mee to my appoint
ment: Come to mee at your conuenient leisure, and
you shall know how I speede: and the conclusion
shall be crowned with your enioying her: adiew: you
shall haue her (Master
Broome) Master
Broome, you shall
cuckold
Ford.
Hum: ha? Is this a vision? Is this a dreame?
doe I sleepe?
Master
Ford awake, awake
Master
Ford:
ther's a
hole made in your best coate (Master
Ford:) this
'tis to be married; this 'tis to haue Lynnen, and Buck‑
baskets: Well, I will proclaime my selfe what I am:
I will now take the Leacher: hee is at my house: hee
cannot scape me: 'tis impossible hee should: hee can
not creepe into a halfe‑penny purse, nor into a Pepper‑
Boxe: But least the Diuell that guides him, should
aide him, I will search impossible places: though
what I am, I cannot auoide; yet to be what I would
not, shall not make me tame: If I haue hornes, to make
one mad, let the prouerbe goe with me, Ile be horneߛ
mad.
