derstandings for thy Cases, & the
numbers of the Gen
ders? Thou art as foolish
Christian creatures, as I would
desires.
Mi.Page.
[1730]
Pre'thee hold thy peace.Eu.Shew me now (
William) some declensions of
your
Pronounes.
Will.Forsooth, I haue forgot.Eu.
It is
Qui, que,
quod
; if you forget your
Quies,
your
Ques, and your
Quods, you must be preeches: Goe
[1735]
your waies and play, go.
M.Pag.He is a better scholler then I thought he was.Eu.He is a good sprag‑memory: Farewel
Mis. Page.
Mis.Page.Adieu good Sir
Hugh:
Get you home boy, Come we stay too long.Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
[Act 4, Scene 2]
Enter Falstoffe,
Mist.Ford, Mist.Page, Seruants, Ford,
Page, Caius,
Euans, Shallow.
Fal.
[1740]
Mi. Ford, Your
sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe
rance; I see
you are obsequious in your loue, and I pro
fesse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist.
Ford,
in the simple office of
loue, but in all the accustrement,
complement, and
ceremony of it: But are you sure of
[1745]
your husband now?
Mis.Ford.Hee's a birding (sweet Sir
Iohn.)
Mis.Page.What hoa, gossip
Ford: what hoa.
Mis.Ford.Step into th'chamber, Sir
Iohn.
Mis.Page.How now (sweete heart) whose at home
besides your selfe?
Mis.Ford.
[1750]
Why none but mine owne people.Mis.Page.Indeed?Mis.Ford.No certainly: Speake louder.Mist.Pag.Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here.Mist.Ford.Why?Mis.Page.
[1755]
Why woman, your husband is in his olde
lines againe: he so
takes on yonder with my husband, so
railes against
all married mankinde; so curses all
Eues
daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so
buffettes
himselfe on the for‑head: crying
peere‑out, peere‑out,
[1760]
that any madnesse I
euer yet beheld, seem'd but tame
nesse,
ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is
in
now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.
Mist.Ford.Why, do's he talke of him?Mist.Page.
Of none but him, and sweares he was ca
[1765]
rried out the
last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket:
Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath
drawne
him and the rest of their company from their
sport, to
make another experiment of his suspition: But I
am glad
the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne
foo⸗
[1770]
lerie.
Mist.Ford.How neere is he Mistris
Page?
Mist.Pag.Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon.Mist.Ford.I am vndone, the Knight is heere.Mist.Page.
Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's
[1775]
but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with
him, away with him: Better shame, then murther.
Mist.Ford.Which way should he go? How should I
bestow him?
Shall I put him into the basket againe?
Fal.No, Ile come no more i'th Basket:May I not go out ere he come?
the doore with
Pistols, that none shall issue out: other
wise you
might slip away ere hee came: But what make
you heere?
Fal.What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.Mist.Ford.
[1785]
There they alwaies vse to discharge their
Birding‑peeces: creepe into the Kill‑hole.
Fal.Where is it?Mist.Ford.
He will seeke there on my word: Neyther
Presse,
Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath
an abstract for the remembrance of such
places, and goes
[1790]
to them by his Note: There is no hiding
you in the
house.
Fal.Ile go out then.Mist.Ford.
If you goe out in your owne semblance,
you die Sir
Iohn, vnlesse you go out
disguis'd.
Mist.Ford.
[1795]
How might we disguise him?Mist.Page.
Alas the day I know not, there is no wo
mans gowne
bigge enough for him: otherwise he might
put on a hat, a
muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape.
Fal.
Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie,
[1800]
rather then
a mischiefe.
Mist.Ford.
My Maids Aunt the fat woman of
Brain
ford
, has a gowne aboue.
Mist.Page.
On my word it will serue him: shee's as
big as he
is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her
muffler
[1805]
too: run vp Sir
Iohn.
Mist.Ford.Go, go, sweet Sir
Iohn:
Mistriis Page and
I will looke some linnen for your head.
Mist.Page.Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you
straight: put on the gowne the while.
Mist.Ford.
I would my husband would meete him
in this shape: he cannot
abide the old woman of Brain
[1810]
ford; he sweares
she's a witch, forbad her my house, and
hath
threatned to beate her.
Mist.Page.
Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud
gell: and the
diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.
Mist.Ford.But is my husband comming?Mist.Page.
[1815]
I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the
basket too,
howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.
Mist.Ford.
Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to
carry the
basket againe, to meete him at the doore with
it, as they
did last time.
Mist.Page.
Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go
[1820]
dresse him like the witch of
Brainford.
Mist.Ford.
Ile first direct direct my men, what
they
shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen
for
him straight.
Mist.Page.Hang him dishonest Varlet,
[1825]
We cannot misuse enough:We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,Wiues may be merry, and yet honest too:We do not acte that often, iest, and laugh,'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh.Mist.Ford.
[1830]
Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your
shoulders: your
Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you
set it
downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch.
1
Ser.
Come, come, take it vp.2
Ser.
Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.1
Ser.
[1835]
I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead.Ford.I, but if it proue true (M
r.
Page) haue
you any
way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the
basket
villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a
basket:
Oh you Panderly Rascals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,
a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be
sham'd.
What wife I say: Come, come forth: behold what
ho
nest
Scena Secunda.
[Act 4, Scene 2]
Enter Falstoffe,
Mist.Ford, Mist.Page, Seruants, Ford,
Page, Caius,
Euans, Shallow.
Fal.
[1740]
Mi. Ford, Your
sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe
rance; I see
you are obsequious in your loue, and I pro
fesse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist.
Ford,
in the simple office of
loue, but in all the accustrement,
complement, and
ceremony of it: But are you sure of
[1745]
your husband now?
Mis.Ford.Hee's a birding (sweet Sir
Iohn.)
Mis.Page.What hoa, gossip
Ford: what hoa.
Mis.Ford.Step into th'chamber, Sir
Iohn.
Mis.Page.How now (sweete heart) whose at home
besides your selfe?
Mis.Ford.
[1750]
Why none but mine owne people.Mis.Page.Indeed?Mis.Ford.No certainly: Speake louder.Mist.Pag.Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here.Mist.Ford.Why?Mis.Page.
[1755]
Why woman, your husband is in his olde
lines againe: he so
takes on yonder with my husband, so
railes against
all married mankinde; so curses all
Eues
daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so
buffettes
himselfe on the for‑head: crying
peere‑out, peere‑out,
[1760]
that any madnesse I
euer yet beheld, seem'd but tame
nesse,
ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is
in
now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.
Mist.Ford.Why, do's he talke of him?Mist.Page.
Of none but him, and sweares he was ca
[1765]
rried out the
last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket:
Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath
drawne
him and the rest of their company from their
sport, to
make another experiment of his suspition: But I
am glad
the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne
foo⸗
[1770]
lerie.
Mist.Ford.How neere is he Mistris
Page?
Mist.Pag.Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon.Mist.Ford.I am vndone, the Knight is heere.Mist.Page.
Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's
[1775]
but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with
him, away with him: Better shame, then murther.
Mist.Ford.Which way should he go? How should I
bestow him?
Shall I put him into the basket againe?
Fal.No, Ile come no more i'th Basket:May I not go out ere he come?Mist.Page.
[1780]
Alas: three of M
r.
Fords brothers watch
the doore with
Pistols, that none shall issue out: other
wise you
might slip away ere hee came: But what make
you heere?
Fal.What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.Mist.Ford.
[1785]
There they alwaies vse to discharge their
Birding‑peeces: creepe into the Kill‑hole.
Fal.Where is it?Mist.Ford.
He will seeke there on my word: Neyther
Presse,
Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath
an abstract for the remembrance of such
places, and goes
[1790]
to them by his Note: There is no hiding
you in the
house.
Fal.Ile go out then.Mist.Ford.
If you goe out in your owne semblance,
you die Sir
Iohn, vnlesse you go out
disguis'd.
Mist.Ford.
[1795]
How might we disguise him?Mist.Page.
Alas the day I know not, there is no wo
mans gowne
bigge enough for him: otherwise he might
put on a hat, a
muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape.
Fal.
Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie,
[1800]
rather then
a mischiefe.
Mist.Ford.
My Maids Aunt the fat woman of
Brain
ford
, has a gowne aboue.
Mist.Page.
On my word it will serue him: shee's as
big as he
is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her
muffler
[1805]
too: run vp Sir
Iohn.
Mist.Ford.Go, go, sweet Sir
Iohn:
Mistriis Page and
I will looke some linnen for your head.
Mist.Page.Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you
straight: put on the gowne the while.
Mist.Ford.
I would my husband would meete him
in this shape: he cannot
abide the old woman of Brain
[1810]
ford; he sweares
she's a witch, forbad her my house, and
hath
threatned to beate her.
Mist.Page.
Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud
gell: and the
diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.
Mist.Ford.But is my husband comming?Mist.Page.
[1815]
I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the
basket too,
howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.
Mist.Ford.
Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to
carry the
basket againe, to meete him at the doore with
it, as they
did last time.
Mist.Page.
Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go
[1820]
dresse him like the witch of
Brainford.
Mist.Ford.
Ile first direct direct my men, what
they
shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen
for
him straight.
Mist.Page.Hang him dishonest Varlet,
[1825]
We cannot misuse enough:We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,Wiues may be merry, and yet honest too:We do not acte that often, iest, and laugh,'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh.Mist.Ford.
[1830]
Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your
shoulders: your
Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you
set it
downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch.
1
Ser.
Come, come, take it vp.2
Ser.
Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.1
Ser.
[1835]
I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead.Ford.I, but if it proue true (M
r.
Page) haue
you any
way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the
basket
villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a
basket:
Oh you Panderly Rascals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,
a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be
sham'd.
What wife I say: Come, come forth: behold what
ho
nest cloathes you send forth to bleaching.
Page.Why, this passes M.
Ford: you are not to
goe
loose any longer, you must be
pinnion'd.
Euans.
[1840]
Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a
mad dogge.
Shall.Indeed M.
Ford, this is not well
indeed.
Ford.
So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris
Ford, Mi
stris
Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the
vertu
ous creature, that hath the iealious foole to
her husband:
[1845]
I suspect without cause
(Mistris) do I?
Mist.Ford.
Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you
suspect me in
any dishonesty.
Ford.
Well said Brazon‑face, hold it out: Come forth
sirrah.
Page.
[1850]
This passes.Mist.Ford.Are you not asham'd, let the cloths alone.Ford.I shall finde you anon.Eua.'Tis vnreasonable; will you take vp your wiues
cloathes? Come, away.
Ford.Empty the basket I say.M.Ford.
[1855]
Why man, why?Ford.
Master
Page, as I am a man, there
was one con
uay'd out of my house
yesterday in this basket: why
may not he be there
againe, in my house I am sure he is:
my Intelligence is
true, my iealousie is reasonable, pluck
[1860]
me out all the
linnen.
Mist.Ford.If you find a man there, he shall dye a Fleas
death.
Page.Heer's no man.Shal.By my fidelity this is not well M
r.
Ford: This
wrongs you.
Euans.M
rFord, you must pray, and not
follow the
imaginations of your owne heart: this is
iealousies.
Ford.
[1865]
Well, hee's not heere I seeke for.Page.No, nor no where else but in your braine.Ford.
Helpe to search my house this one time: if I find
not what
I seeke, shew no colour for my extremity: Let
me for euer
be your Tableߛsport: Let them say of me, as
[1870]
iealous
as
Ford, that search'd a hollow
Wall‑nut for his
wiues Lemman. Satisfie me
once more, once more serch
with me.
M.Ford.
What hoa (Mistris
Page,) come you
and
the old woman downe: my husband will come into the
[1875]
Chamber.
Ford.Old woman? what old womans that?M.Ford.Why it is my maids Aunt of
Brainford.
Ford.
A witch, a
Queane, an olde couzening
queane:
Haue I not forbid her my house. She comes of
errands
[1880]
do's she? We are simple men, wee doe not
know what's
brought to passe vnder the profession
of Fortune‑telling.
She workes by Charmes, by
Spels, by th'Figure, & such
dawbry as this is,
beyond our Element: wee know no
thing. Come downe
you Witch, you Hagge you, come
[1885]
downe I say.
Mist.Ford.Nay, good sweet husband, good Gentle
men, let him
strike the old woman.
Mist.Page.Come mother
Prat, Come giue me your
hand.
Ford.
Ile
Prat‑her: Out of my doore, you
Witch,
you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion,
[1890]
out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune‑tell
you.
Mist.Page.Are you not asham'd?I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman.Mist.Ford.Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite
for
you.
Ford.Hang her witch.Eua.
[1895]
By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch
in
deede: I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I spie
a
great peard vnder his muffler.
Ford.
Will you follow Gentlemen, I beseech you fol
low:
see but the issue of my iealousie: If I cry out thus
[1900]
vpon no traile, neuer trust me when I open
againe.
Page.Let's obey his humour a little further:Come Gentlemen.Mist.Page.Trust me he beate him most pittifully.Mist.Ford.Nay by th'Masse that he did not: he beate
him
most vnpittifully, me thought.
Mist.Page.
[1905]
Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung
ore the
Altar, it hath done meritorious seruice.
Mist.Ford.
What thinke you? May we with the war
rant of
woman‑hood, and the witnesse of a good
consci
ence, pursue him with any further
reuenge?
M.Page.
The spirit of wantonnesse is sure scar'd out
[1910]
of him,
if the diuell haue him not in fee‑simple, with
fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the
way of
waste, attempt vs againe.
Mist.Ford.
Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue
seru'd
him?
Mist.Page.
[1915]
Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to scrape
the
figures out of your husbands braines: if they can
find
in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat
Knight shall be
any further afflicted, wee
two will still bee the mini
sters.
Mist.Ford.
[1920]
Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely
sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to
the
iest, should he not be publikely
sham'd.
Mist.Page.Come, to the Forge with it, then shape it:
I would not haue things coole.
Exeunt
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<div type="scene" n="2">
<head rend="italic center">Scena Secunda.</head>
<head type="supplied">[Act 4, Scene 2]</head>
<stage rend="italic center" type="entrance">Enter Falstoffe, Mist.Ford, Mist.Page, Seruants, Ford,
<lb/>Page, Caius, Euans, Shallow.</stage>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<p n="1740">
<hi rend="italic">Mi. Ford</hi>, Your sorrow hath eaten vp my suffe
<lb n="1741"/>rance; I see you are obsequious in your loue, and I pro
<lb n="1742"/>fesse requitall to a haires bredth, not onely Mist.<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>,
<lb n="1743"/>in the simple office of loue, but in all the accustrement,
<lb n="1744"/>complement, and ceremony of it: But are you sure of
<lb n="1745"/>your husband now?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1746">Hee's a birding (sweet Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>.)</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1747">What hoa, gossip<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>: what hoa.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1748">Step into th'chamber, Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1749">How now (sweete heart) whose at home
<lb/>besides your selfe?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1750">Why none but mine owne people.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1751">Indeed?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1752">No certainly: Speake louder.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Pag.</speaker>
<l n="1753">Truly, I am so glad you haue no body here.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1754">Why?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mis.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1755">Why woman, your husband is in his olde
<lb n="1756"/>lines againe: he so takes on yonder with my husband, so
<lb n="1757"/>railes against all married mankinde; so curses all<hi rend="italic">Eues</hi>
<lb n="1758"/>daughters, of what complexion soeuer; and so buffettes
<lb n="1759"/>himselfe on the for‑head: crying peere‑out, peere‑out,
<lb n="1760"/>that any madnesse I euer yet beheld, seem'd but tame
<lb n="1761"/>nesse, ciuility, and patience to this his distemper he is in
<lb n="1762"/>now: I am glad the fat Knight is not heere.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1763">Why, do's he talke of him?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1764">Of none but him, and sweares he was ca
<lb n="1765"/>rried out the last time hee search'd for him, in a Basket:
<lb n="1766"/>Protests to my husband he is now heere, & hath drawne
<lb n="1767"/>him and the rest of their company from their sport, to
<lb n="1768"/>make another experiment of his suspition: But I am glad
<lb n="1769"/>the Knight is not heere; now he shall see his owne foo⸗
<lb n="1770"/>lerie.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1771">How neere is he Mistris<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Pag.</speaker>
<l n="1772">Hard by, at street end; he wil be here anon.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1773">I am vndone, the Knight is heere.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1774">Why then you are vtterly sham'd, & hee's
<lb n="1775"/>but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with
<lb n="1776"/>him, away with him: Better shame, then murther.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1777">Which way should he go? How should I
<lb/>bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket againe?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<l n="1778">No, Ile come no more i'th Basket:</l>
<l n="1779">May I not go out ere he come?</l>
</sp>
<cb n="2"/>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1780">Alas: three of M<c rend="superscript">r</c>.<hi rend="italic">Fords</hi>brothers watch
<lb n="1781"/>the doore with Pistols, that none shall issue out: other
<lb n="1782"/>wise you might slip away ere hee came: But what make
<lb n="1783"/>you heere?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<l n="1784">What shall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1785">There they alwaies vse to discharge their
<lb/>Birding‑peeces: creepe into the Kill‑hole.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<l n="1786">Where is it?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1787">He will seeke there on my word: Neyther
<lb n="1788"/>Presse, Coffer, Chest, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath
<lb n="1789"/>an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes
<lb n="1790"/>to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the
<lb n="1791"/>house.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<l n="1792">Ile go out then.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1793">If you goe out in your owne semblance,
<lb n="1794"/>you die Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>, vnlesse you go out disguis'd.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1795">How might we disguise him?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1796">Alas the day I know not, there is no wo
<lb n="1797"/>mans gowne bigge enough for him: otherwise he might
<lb n="1798"/>put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchiefe, and so escape.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-fal">
<speaker rend="italic">Fal.</speaker>
<p n="1799">Good hearts, deuise something: any extremitie,
<lb n="1800"/>rather then a mischiefe.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1801">My Maids Aunt the fat woman of<hi rend="italic">Brain
<lb n="1802"/>ford</hi>, has a gowne aboue.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1803">On my word it will serue him: shee's as
<lb n="1804"/>big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler
<lb n="1805"/>too: run vp Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1806">Go, go, sweet Sir<hi rend="italic">Iohn</hi>:<hi rend="italic">Mistriis Page</hi>and
<lb/>I will looke some linnen for your head.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1807">Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dresse you
<lb/>straight: put on the gowne the while.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1808">I would my husband would meete him
<lb n="1809"/>in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brain
<lb n="1810"/>ford; he sweares she's a witch, forbad her my house, and
<lb n="1811"/>hath threatned to beate her.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1812">Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud
<lb n="1813"/>gell: and the diuell guide his cudgell afterwards.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1814">But is my husband comming?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1815">I in good sadnesse is he, and talkes of the
<lb/>basket too, howsoeuer he hath had intelligence.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1816">Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to
<lb n="1817"/>carry the basket againe, to meete him at the doore with
<lb n="1818"/>it, as they did last time.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1819">Nay, but hee'l be heere presently: let's go
<lb n="1820"/>dresse him like the witch of<hi rend="italic">Brainford</hi>.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1821">Ile first direct direct my men, what they
<lb n="1822"/>shall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for
<lb n="1823"/>him straight.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1824">Hang him dishonest Varlet,</l>
<l n="1825">We cannot misuse enough:</l>
<l n="1826">We'll leaue a proofe by that which we will doo,</l>
<l n="1827">Wiues may be merry, and yet honest too:</l>
<l n="1828">We do not acte that often, iest, and laugh,</l>
<l n="1829">'Tis old, but true, Still Swine eats all the draugh.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1830">Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your
<lb n="1831"/>shoulders: your Master is hard at doore: if hee bid you
<lb n="1832"/>set it downe, obey him: quickly, dispatch.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-ser.1">
<speaker rend="italic">1<hi rend="italic">Ser</hi>.</speaker>
<l n="1833">Come, come, take it vp.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-ser.2">
<speaker rend="italic">2<hi rend="italic">Ser</hi>.</speaker>
<l n="1834">Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-ser.1">
<speaker rend="italic">1<hi rend="italic">Ser</hi>.</speaker>
<l n="1835">I hope not, I had liefe as beare so much lead.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1836">I, but if it proue true (M<c rend="superscript">r</c>.<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>) haue you any
<lb/>way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the basket
<lb/>villaine: some body call my wife: Youth in a basket:</l>
<l n="1837">Oh you Panderly Rascals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe,
<lb/>a conspiracie against me: Now shall the diuel be sham'd.</l>
<l n="1838">What wife I say: Come, come forth: behold what ho<pb facs="FFimg:axc0075-0.jpg" n="55"/>
<cb n="1"/>
<lb/>nest cloathes you send forth to bleaching.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1839">Why, this passes M.<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>: you are not to goe
<lb/>loose any longer, you must be pinnion'd.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euans.</speaker>
<l n="1840">Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a
<lb/>mad dogge.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shall.</speaker>
<l n="1841">Indeed M.<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>, this is not well indeed.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1842">So say I too Sir, come hither Mistris<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>, Mi
<lb n="1843"/>stris<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>, the honest woman, the modest wife, the vertu
<lb n="1844"/>ous creature, that hath the iealious foole to her husband:
<lb n="1845"/>I suspect without cause (Mistris) do I?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1846">Heauen be my witnesse you doe, if you
<lb n="1847"/>suspect me in any dishonesty.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1848">Well said Brazon‑face, hold it out: Come forth
<lb n="1849"/>sirrah.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1850">This passes.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1851">Are you not asham'd, let the cloths alone.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1852">I shall finde you anon.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Eua.</speaker>
<l n="1853">'Tis vnreasonable; will you take vp your wiues
<lb/>cloathes? Come, away.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1854">Empty the basket I say.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">M.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1855">Why man, why?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1856">Master<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>, as I am a man, there was one con
<lb n="1857"/>uay'd out of my house yesterday in this basket: why
<lb n="1858"/>may not he be there againe, in my house I am sure he is:
<lb n="1859"/>my Intelligence is true, my iealousie is reasonable, pluck
<lb n="1860"/>me out all the linnen.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1861">If you find a man there, he shall dye a Fleas
<lb/>death.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1862">Heer's no man.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-sha">
<speaker rend="italic">Shal.</speaker>
<l n="1863">By my fidelity this is not well M<c rend="superscript">r</c>.<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>: This
<lb/>wrongs you.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Euans.</speaker>
<l n="1864">M<c rend="superscript">r</c>
<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>, you must pray, and not follow the
<lb/>imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealousies.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1865">Well, hee's not heere I seeke for.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1866">No, nor no where else but in your braine.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1867">Helpe to search my house this one time: if I find
<lb n="1868"/>not what I seeke, shew no colour for my extremity: Let
<lb n="1869"/>me for euer be your Tableߛsport: Let them say of me, as
<lb n="1870"/>iealous as<hi rend="italic">Ford</hi>, that search'd a hollow Wall‑nut for his
<lb n="1871"/>wiues Lemman. Satisfie me once more, once more serch
<lb n="1872"/>with me.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">M.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1873">What hoa (Mistris<hi rend="italic">Page</hi>,) come you and
<lb n="1874"/>the old woman downe: my husband will come into the
<lb n="1875"/>Chamber.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1876">Old woman? what old womans that?</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">M.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1877">Why it is my maids Aunt of<hi rend="italic">Brainford</hi>.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1878">A witch, a<hi rend="italic">Queane</hi>, an olde couzening queane:
<lb n="1879"/>Haue I not forbid her my house. She comes of errands
<lb n="1880"/>do's she? We are simple men, wee doe not know what's
<lb n="1881"/>brought to passe vnder the profession of Fortune‑telling.
<lb n="1882"/>She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th'Figure, & such
<lb n="1883"/>dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know no
<lb n="1884"/>thing. Come downe you Witch, you Hagge you, come
<lb n="1885"/>downe I say.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1886">Nay, good sweet husband, good Gentle
<lb/>men, let him strike the old woman.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1887">Come mother<hi rend="italic">Prat</hi>, Come giue me your
<lb/>hand.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1888">Ile<hi rend="italic">Prat</hi>‑her: Out of my doore, you Witch,
<lb n="1889"/>you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion,
<lb n="1890"/>out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune‑tell you.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1891">Are you not asham'd?</l>
<l n="1892">I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1893">Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite
<lb/>for you.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1894">Hang her witch.</l>
</sp>
<cb n="2"/>
<sp who="#F-wiv-eva">
<speaker rend="italic">Eua.</speaker>
<p n="1895">By yea, and no, I thinke the o'man is a witch in
<lb n="1896"/>deede: I like not when a o'man has a great peard; I spie
<lb n="1897"/>a great peard vnder his muffler.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-for">
<speaker rend="italic">Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1898">Will you follow Gentlemen, I beseech you fol
<lb n="1899"/>low: see but the issue of my iealousie: If I cry out thus
<lb n="1900"/>vpon no traile, neuer trust me when I open againe.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-pag">
<speaker rend="italic">Page.</speaker>
<l n="1901">Let's obey his humour a little further:</l>
<l n="1902">Come Gentlemen.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1903">Trust me he beate him most pittifully.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<l n="1904">Nay by th'Masse that he did not: he beate
<lb/>him most vnpittifully, me thought.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1905">Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung
<lb/>ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious seruice.</l>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1906">What thinke you? May we with the war
<lb n="1907"/>rant of woman‑hood, and the witnesse of a good consci
<lb n="1908"/>ence, pursue him with any further reuenge?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">M.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1909">The spirit of wantonnesse is sure scar'd out
<lb n="1910"/>of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee‑simple, with
<lb n="1911"/>fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of
<lb n="1912"/>waste, attempt vs againe.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1913">Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue
<lb n="1914"/>seru'd him?</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<p n="1915">Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to scrape
<lb n="1916"/>the figures out of your husbands braines: if they can find
<lb n="1917"/>in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight shall be
<lb n="1918"/>any further afflicted, wee two will still bee the mini
<lb n="1919"/>sters.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mfo">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Ford.</speaker>
<p n="1920">Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely
<lb n="1921"/>sham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the
<lb n="1922"/>iest, should he not be publikely sham'd.</p>
</sp>
<sp who="#F-wiv-mpa">
<speaker rend="italic">Mist.Page.</speaker>
<l n="1923">Come, to the Forge with it, then shape it:
<lb/>I would not haue things coole.</l>
</sp>
<stage rend="italic rightJustified" type="exit">Exeunt</stage>
</div>
