Actus primus, Scena prima.
[Act 1, Scene 1]
Hugh Euans, Master
Page, Falstoffe, Bardolph, Nym, Pistoll, Anne Page,
perswade me not: I will make a Star‑Chamber
it, if hee were twenty Sir
, he shall not abuse
In the County of
Iustice of Peace and
Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman
(Master Parson) who writes himselfe
Armigero, in any
Quittance, or Obligation,
I that I doe, and haue done any time these three
All his successors (gone before him) hath don't:
all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they
may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.
It is an olde Coate.
The dozen white Lowses doe become an old
Coat well: it
agrees well passant: It is a familiar beast to
and signifies Loue.
The Luse is the fresh‑fish, the
salt‑fish, is an old
I may quarter (Coz).
You may, by marrying.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Not a whit.
Yes per‑lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat,
there is but three Skirts for your selfe, in my simple
iectures; but that is all one: if Sir
Iohn Falstaffe haue
committed disparagements vnto you, I am of the Church
and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make
ments and compremises betweene you.
The Councell shall heare it, it is a Riot.
It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there
is no feare
of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you)
shall desire to
heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a
Riot: take your
viza‑ments in that.
Ha; o' my life, if I were yong againe, the sword
should end it.
It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
there is also another deuice in my praine, which
peraduenture prings goot discretions with it. There is
Anne Page, which is daughter to
Master Thomas Page,
Mistris Anne Page? she has browne
speakes small like a woman.
It is that ferry person for all the orld, as iust as
you will desire, and seuen hundred pounds of Moneyes,
and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand‑sire vpon his
bed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull
resurrections) giue, when
she is able to ouertake
seuenteene yeeres old. It were a
goot motion, if we leaue
our pribbles and prabbles, and
desire a marriage betweene
Abraham, and Mistris
Did her Grand‑sire leaue her seauen hundred
I, and her father is make her a petter penny.
I know the young Gentlewoman, she hasgood
Seuen hundred pounds, and possibilities, is
Wel, let vs see honest M
Shall I tell you a lye? I doe despise a
lyer, as I
doe despise one that is false, or as I despise
one that is not
true: the Knight Sir
Iohn is there, and I beseech you be
ruled by your
well‑willers: I will peat the doore for M
Page. What hoa? Got‑plesse your house
Here is go't's plessing and your friend, and
heere yong Master
uentures shall tell you another tale, if
matters grow to
I am glad to see your Worships well: I
thanke you for my
Page, I am glad to see you:
doe it your good heart: I wish'd your
Venison better, it
was ill killd: how doth good
Page? and I thank
you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.
Sir, I thanke you.
Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.
I am glad to see you, good Master
How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard
was out‑run on
It could not be iudg'd, Sir.
You'll not confesse: you'll not confesse.
That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault:
'tis a good dogge.
A Cur, Sir.
Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there
more said? he is good, and faire. Is Sir
Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a
office betweene you.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speake.
He hath wrong'd me (Master
Sir, he doth in some sort confesse it.
If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that
Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed
he hath, at a
word he hath: beleeue me,
Robert Shallow Esquire, saith
he is wronged.
Here comes Sir
complaine of me to
Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my
broke open my Lodge.
But not kiss'd your Keepers daughter?
Tut, a pin: this shall be answer'd.
I will answere it strait, I haue done all this:
That is now answer'd.
The Councell shall know this.
'Twere better for you if it were known in
you'll be laugh'd at.
Pauca verba; (Sir
Iohn) good worts.
Good worts? good Cabidge;
Slender, I broke
your head: what matter haue you against me?
Marry sir, I haue matter in my head against you,
against your cony‑catching Rascalls,
You Banbery Cheese.
I, it is no matter.
I, it is no matter.
Slice, I say;
pauca, pauca: Slice, that's my humor.
Simple my man? can you
Peace, I pray
you: now let vs vnderstand: there
is three Vmpires
in this matter, as I vnderstand; that is,
Page,) & there is my
(fidelicet my selfe) and the three party is
(lastly, and finally)
of the Gater.
We three to hear it, & end it between them.
Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my
note‑booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the
with as great discreetly as we can.
He heares with eares.
The Teuill and his Tam: what phrase is this?
he heares with
eare? why, it is affectations.
Pistoll, did you picke M.
I, by these gloues did hee, or I would I might
in mine owne great chamber againe else, of
in mill‑sixpences, and two
that cost me two shilling and
two pence a
Is this true,
by these gloues.
No, it is false, if it is a picke‑purse.
Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir
Master mine, I combat challenge of this Latine
word of deniall in thy
labras here; word of denial; froth,
and scum thou
By these gloues, then 'twas he.
Be auis'd sir, and passe good humours: I will
marry trap with you, if you runne the nut‑hooks
on me, that is the very note of it.
By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for
cannot remember what I did when you made
me drunke, yet I
am not altogether an asse.
What say you
Why sir, (for my part) I say the Gentleman had
himselfe out of his fiue sentences.
It is his fiue sences: fie, what the ignorance
And being fap, sir, was (as they say) casheerd: and
conclusions past the Car‑eires.
I, you spake in Latten then to: but 'tis no
Ile nere be drunk whilst I liue
againe, but in honest,
ciuill, godly company for
this tricke: if I be drunke, Ile
be drunke with those that
haue the feare of God, and not
with drunken knaues.
So got‑udge me, that is a vertuo
You heare all these matters deni'd, Gentlemen;
Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll
Oh heauen: This is Mistresse
How now Mistris
by my troth you are very wel met:
by your leaue good
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: come,
we haue a hot
Venison pasty to dinner; Come gentle
hope we shall drinke downe all vnkindnesse.
I had rather then forty shillings I had my booke
and Sonnets heere: How now
haue you beene? I must wait on my selfe, must
haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue
Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to
Alice Short‑cake vpon Alhallowmas
last, a fortnight afore
Come Coz, come Coz, we stay for you: a word
Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a ten
a kinde of tender, made a farre‑off by Sir
doe you vnderstand
I Sir, you shall finde me reasonable; if it be so,
I shall doe that that is reason.
Nay, but vnderstand me.
So I doe Sir.
Giue eare to his motions; (M
description the matter to you, if you be capacity of
Nay, I will doe as my Cozen
pray you pardon me, he's a Iustice of Peace
in his Countrie,
simple though I stand
But that is not the question: the question is
concerning your marriage.
I, there's the point Sir.
Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mr.
Why if it be so; I will marry her vpon any reasonable
But can you affection the 'o‑man, let
to know that of your mouth, or of your lips:
Philosophers hold, that the lips is parcell of
you carry your
good wil to yͤ maid?
Abraham Slender, can you loue
I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that
Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you must speake
possitable, if you can carry‑her your desires
That you must:
Will you, (vpon good dowry) marry
I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your
request (Cosen) in any reason.
Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (sweet Coz):
What I doe is
to pleasure you (Coz:) can you loue the
I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if
bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen
decrease it vpon better acquaintance, when wee
married, and haue more occasion to know one ano
I hope vpon familiarity will grow more content:
if you say mary‑her, I will mary‑her, that I am
dissolued, and dissolutely.
It is a fery discretion‑answere; saue the fall is in
the 'ord, dissolutely: the ort is (according to our
ning) resolutely: his meaning is good.
I: I thinke my Cosen meant well.
I, or else I would I might be hang'd (la.)
Here comes faire Mistris
yong for your sake, Mistris
The dinner is on the Table, my Father desires
I will wait on him, (faire Mistris
Od's plessed‑wil: I wil not be
Wil't please your worship to come in, Sir?
No, I thank you forsooth, hartely; I am very well.
The dinner attends you, Sir.
I am not a‑hungry, I thanke you, forsooth: goe,
Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my Cosen
Shallow: a Iustice of peace sometime
may be beholding
to his friend, for a Man; I keepe but
three Men, and a
Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet
I liue like a poore Gentleman borne.
I may not goe in without your worship: they
will not sit
till you come.
I'faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as
though I did.
I pray you Sir walke in.
I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd
shin th' other day, with playing at Sword and
ger with a Master of Fence (three veneys
for a dish of
stew'd Prunes) and by my troth,
I cannot abide the smell
of hot meate since. Why doe your
dogs barke so? be
there Beares ith' Towne?
I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of.
I loue the sport well, but I shall as soone quarrell
as any man in
England: you are afraid if
you see the
Beare loose, are you not?
I indeede Sir.
That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue seene
Saskerson loose, twenty times, and haue taken
him by the
Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue so
and shrekt at it, that it past: But women
abide 'em, they are very
ill‑fauour'd rough things.
Come, gentle M.
Slender, come; we
stay for you.
Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir.
By cocke and pie, you shall not choose, Sir:
Nay, pray you lead the way.
Come on, Sir.
Anne: your selfe shall goe
Not I Sir, pray you keepe on.
Truely I will not goe first: truly‑la: I will
doe you that wrong.
I pray you Sir.
Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troublesome: you
selfe wrong indeede‑la.