[Act 4, Scene 5]
Enter Host, Simple,
Falstaffe, Bardolfe, Euans,
What wouldst thou haue? (Boore) what? (thick
speake, breathe, discusse: breefe, short, quicke,
Marry Sir, I come to speake with Sir
There's his Chamber, his House, his Castle,
his standing‑bed and truckle‑bed:
'tis painted about
with the story of the
Prodigall, fresh and new: go, knock
and call: hee'l
speake like an Anthropophaginian vnto
thee: Knocke I
There's an olde woman, a fat woman gone vp
chamber: Ile be so bold as stay Sir till she come
downe: I come to speake with her indeed.
Ha? A fat woman? The Knight may be robb'd:
Ile call. BullyߛKnight, Bully Sir
Iohn: speake from thy
Lungs Military: Art thou there? It is thine Host, thine
How now, mine Host?
Here's a Bohemian‑Tartar taries the comming
downe of thy fat‑woman: Let her descend (Bully) let
her descend: my Chambers are honourable: Fie,
There was (mine Host) an old‑fat‑woman euen
now with me, but she's gone.
Pray you Sir, was't not the Wise‑woman of
I marry was it (Mussel‑shell) what would you
My Master (Sir) my master
Slender, sent to her
seeing her go thorough the
streets, to know (Sir) whe
Nim (Sir) that beguil'd him of a
chaine, had the
chaine, or no.
I spake with the old woman about it.
And what sayes she, I pray Sir?
Marry shee sayes, that the very same man that
Slender of his Chaine, cozon'd him of it.
I would I could haue spoken with the Woman
her selfe, I had other things to haue spoken with her
too, from him.
What are they? let vs know.
I: come: quicke.
I may not conceale them (Sir.)
Conceale them, or thou di'st.
Why sir, they were nothing but about Mistris
Anne Page, to know if it were my
Masters fortune to
haue her, or no.
'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
To haue her, or no: goe; say the woman told
May I be bold to say so Sir?
I Sir: like who more bold.
I thanke your worship: I shall make my Master
with these tydings.
Thou art clearkly: thou art clearkly (Sir
was there a wise woman with thee?
I that there was (mine
that hath taught
me more wit, then euer I learn'd
before in my life: and
I paid nothing for it neither, but
was paid for my lear
Out alas (Sir) cozonage: meere cozonage.
Where be my horses? speake well of them var
Run away with the cozoners: for so soone as
I came beyond
Eaton, they threw me off, from
one of them, in a slough of myre; and set spurres,
away; like three
Germane‑diuels; three Doctor
They are gone but to meete the Duke (villaine)
doe not say
they be fled:
Where is mine
What is the matter Sir?
Haue a care of your entertainments: there is a
mine come to Towne, tels mee there is three
Cozen‑Iermans, that has cozend all the
Cole‑brooke, of horses and money:
tell you for good will (looke you) you are wise, and
of gibes, and vlouting‑stocks: and
'tis not conuenient
you should be cozoned. Fare you
Ver' is mine
Host de Iarteere?
perplexitie, and doubt
I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell‑a‑me, dat
you make grand preparation for a Duke
de Iamanie: by
my trot: der
is no Duke that the Court is know, to
come: I tell you for
good will: adieu.
Huy and cry, (villaine) goe: assist me Knight, I
vndone: fly, run: huy, and cry (villaine) I am
I would all the world might be cozond, for I
cozond and beaten too: if it should come
to the eare of
the Court, how I haue beene transformed;
and how my
transformation hath beene washd, and
cudgeld, they would
melt mee out of my fat drop by
drop, and liquor
Fishermens‑boots with me: I warrant
they would whip
me with their fine wits, till I were as
crest‑falne as a dride‑peare: I neuer
prosper'd, since I
forswore my selfe at
Primero: well, if my winde were
long enough; I would repent: Now? Whence come
From the two parties forsooth.
The Diuell take one partie, and his Dam the
other: and so
they shall be both bestowed; I haue
fer'd more for their
sakes; more then the villanous in
of mans disposition is able to beare.
And haue not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant;
ciously one of them; Mistris
Ford (good heart) is beaten
blew, that you cannot see a white spot about
What tell'st thou mee of blacke, and blew? I
was beaten my selfe into all the colours of the
bow: and I was like to be apprehended for the
Braineford, but that my
admirable dexteritie of wit,
my counterfeiting the action
of an old woman deliuer'd
me, the knaue Constable
had set me ith'Stocks, ith'com
Stocks, for a Witch.
Sir: let me speake with you in your Chamber,
heare how things goe, and (I warrant) to your
here is a Letter will say somewhat: (good‑
what a‑doe here is to bring you together? Sure,
one of you do's not serue heauen well, that you are
Come vp into my Chamber.